Love Wins

I was reading a fellow-blogger's post this morning and it brought tears to my eyes to see God's love in action because she included a video that demonstrated how it works so very well. (Click the link I've embedded in the bold print in the first line of this paragraph to read her post and watch the video.) 

Truth be told, just like my blogger friend, I am tired of "settling" for a version of God that says, "He is Love BUT..." And of course, after the BUT there are a whole host of exceptions that are supposed to prove the rule. They don't. 

Photo "Fountain" courtesy of dan at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Either God is love or He isn't. Either He wants the best for me or He doesn't. It's that simple. It's that clear-cut. I open my heart before you today, having seen some pretty awful stuff in my life. Child abuse, peer bullying, abuse of authority in school, the workplace, and the church, addiction, grief, and the constant self-questioning and God-questioning that comes in irrational, vicious shouts from my own monkey-brain. 

Yet I believe, even in spite of all of that, that God is love, that God loves me. That He loves everyone. That Jesus is the perfect representation of who God is.

No ifs. No buts. Unconditional love. No darkness, no shadow of turning, as James puts it. No holds barred. Passionate, pure, unadulterated love, completely independent of my response.

And love wins. 

It wins when I sit in the dark on a winter's morning and wonder how I'll get up off the edge of the bed and get going on the day. It wins when I see the ones I love in physical and psychological pain. It wins when I fear what the next person will say or think. It wins when my heart breaks in grief. Love wins when the doctor says there's no hope. It just does. 

Because He is there. He loves. He cares. He wins. Every time.

Sometimes I don't have the faith it takes to move the mountains in my life. Then I realize it's absolutely not about how much faith I have or don't have, but where I put it: in Him. I don't need to embrace Him (although I do, and I love to) because He is already embracing me. He's got me. He's got my back (and every other part of me). I don't need to stress out. He's there, and He loves me. His love doesn't depend on my performance. It doesn't work like that. He delights in me. I make Him sing! (Zephaniah 3:17)

Can I relax in that? Dare I believe that He is that good? If I did, what would that look like? Perhaps it would look like my friend's favorite video. Perhaps it would be slightly different - but I can guarantee that people's lives would be irreversibly impacted, starting with mine. 

I'm only beginning to grasp the unconditional love of God; the more I do, the more I am persuaded that His love doesn't look anything like what we've become accustomed to in the western church. And because of this meditation I've been doing on Him being love, the more I am inclined to think that we've gotten the Christian life backward. We don't obey to receive His blessing at all.  He blesses us because He loves us far beyond our capability to receive ... and it is from the overflow of that love that we can't help but want to share the good news that is Him - the good news of Love coming down - the good news that there is nothing or no-one that can withstand Him. 

Because He is Love. And Love wins.

More

For as far back as I can remember, I've heard people pray for, beg for, plead for, even demand revival. I have even participated in such prayer. The longing of those in the church has been for a widescale revival like those ones in the past - the ones involving the Wesley brothers, or Charles Finney, or more modern ones like Pensacola. Folks pray, "Do it again, God!" ... and I hear their hearts.

I'm going to risk a lot of flak here but ... I don't pray like that anymore. I don't even pray for revival - at least, not in that sense. 

Every revival in history has been preceded by a period of such intense dryness that even some members of the church have given up - rightly calling what remains - the lifeless shell of organized religion - "Ichabod" - the glory has departed. 

Without fail, every revival in history has come about because there was at least one person, and no more than a handful of people, who started seeking God earnestly and asking Him one question: "Is this all there is? Is there more to the Christian life than what I've been taught?" 

I know one such person. And this person would agree that seeking God's reality, His personal presence, His heart, is what brings the dry bones back to life and ignites the fire of new life - or should I say REnewed life. 

For revival, you see, is not what most people think it is. People think of revival as being more people coming into the church and becoming Christians. 

IT ISN'T. 

Revival is coming to life AGAIN.  Otherwise it would just be VIVAL. 

Yes. Yes, revival is for the CHURCH. Believers begin to ask that question of God - they DARE to ask Him - "Is there more?" 

All those dry, dusty rules, traditions of men, that people have clung to for generations - is that all there is? All those efforts, praying, trying to make God do what we want Him to do by toeing the line and racking up brownie points (only to fall flat on our faces and hit our knees, but the heavens seem to be made of brass) ... all that going through the motions and singing this song, then that song, then the offering, then the sermon, then the closing finale ... 

Seriously God? is that all there is? 

All those hours upon hours of "doing devotions" ... grasping every little crumb that might fall to the floor for me ... is that how big You are God? really? All that time I've spent berating myself because I didn't measure up, promising to do better, begging You to show up in my life .... and .... nothing!! What is the deal, God? Are You there? DO You love me? Is Your presence and blessing in my life dependent on whether You are pleased with my lifestyle, my choices? if it is, then that's pretty pathetic because I know I can NEVER do enough to please You - You are satisfied with no less than perfection! 

So what is the deal, God? What is it I'm missing? What MORE is there?? 

[Notice - my readers - I switched from talking about US and HIM, and made it into a conversation between me and God - I used ME and YOU. I did that on purpose, to show that it HAS to be personal to be real. Let me continue.]

And then You start to reveal Yourself. Slowly, I realize something absolutely earth-shattering, just as it was the very first day of Grace, the day the earth split and the graves were opened, the day Jesus died for me. 

"More" has been there all along. I just never realized it! Your grace, by which I am saved and through which I entered this relationship, isn't just a "get out of jail free" card. It's a continual "not guilty" verdict, not just for the heinous acts of the past but also for every single time I ever do any less than perfect ... for the rest of my life. And this is all because of the all-sufficiency of Jesus' once-for-all sacrifice. For everyone who believes. For me.

Photo "Happy Jumping Child" by
chrisroll at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Why? Why would You do that for me? How could You love me that much? If this rabbit-hole goes as deep as it looks like it goes, then You love me as much as You love Jesus!! You call me Your daughter! You have set Your (fiery, passionate) love upon me! I am (not just I have, but I am) Your righteousness because of Jesus! How high, how deep and how wide a love is that!?! 

Such gratitude! I am made whole, complete in You, forgiven, restored, accepted, loved! 

Along with those who have realized this greatest gift of "More" in its fulness, I can't help but rhapsodize about You! Thank You for putting those people into my life - I get together with them because it's the most natural thing in the world to me, not because I am "expected" to. 

We share with each other often about all the wonderful things You are, all the great and glorious things You are doing in our lives. We lift each other up. We lift YOU up. We worship You in the beauty of holiness, made right and righteous in Your sight, completely accepted in the Beloved One.

This is the core of revival; nothing more, nothing less. The joy and excitement that we have because of You spills out into our everyday lives. We exude You, we "ooze" the Spirit and people naturally come up to us - even if we're alone - and start asking us to pray for them. Or they become very uncomfortable in their own existence and want this "more" for themselves too. 

And You give it. Your Grace, Your Love is just that big. Bigger than we can possibly imagine.

And more. Much more.

Getting Desperate

I'm broken.

I lived in denial of that fact for a lot of years - especially as a Christian. Yet, it's true; I am irreparably flawed and there is nothing at all that I can do to change it. 

No matter how hard I try, I can't live the way I know God would like me to live - at all times selfless, loving, patient, gentle and joyful.

It's not humanly possible. 

I've lived through my own stage of the "speak it in faith sister" stuff. It doesn't work. In fact, whenever I said I was victorious while inside I knew I wasn't, it killed me more inside ... because I knew I was lying, no matter how many spiritual words I used. 

I can't be better than Abraham - whose only claim to fame was that he believed what God said to him. People who do the "speaking in faith" thing .... might forget that "speaking those things that be not as though they are" is a prerogative only reserved for the Creator. I did, and in my arrogance I spoke in faith (that is, I lied) believing that what I said would come to pass - but - I am not God. 

That is what I have learned. 

I am not God. 

My desire to please Him has not diminished; it never has dimmed. If anything, it is more than it ever was. However, I've realized that I simply, unequivocally cannot do it. I just can't. Learning this was a severe blow to my pride, but it planted a seed of something uncomfortable (yet so necessary) in me. 

Desperation. I need Jesus. So. Very. Much.

"Down on my knees, that's where I learned to stand" go the lyrics of one of my favorite gospel songs (from a few decades back). Those words say it much better than I can, how will power and living in denial are so insufficient. I had to reach a point where I depended on Him for everything. Not with an attitude of entitlement (like "God you Have to give me this because I'm Your kid!") but asking Him and then trusting Him to decide what's best for me.

The more I realize how much I need Him - for every breath, for guidance, for the strength to do every single "next right thing" in front of me - the more desperate I get for His presence on a moment-by-moment basis. 

Besides, if I could do it on my own ... why did Jesus have to die, anyway?

I invite you to listen to Charles Johnston and the Revivers sing that song.

Can I get an Amen?

I've been looking at the Scriptures lately to see if I can find any justification for the use of the subject of this post. Or the use of any kind of feedback-eliciting question or statement.  

I can't find any.

It really annoys me to hear so many preachers get up front and talk about something they've been working on all week, and not get the enthusiastic response they expected from their parishoners, so instead of understanding that some people might not be ready, or that maybe the message that God told them to preach was for their OWN benefit, what they do is ask people if they're asleep, or tell them how they SHOULD be responding.  

Hm.  Point of order here.  

Who CARES how they respond?  Did Jesus try to stir up a crowd by telling them how to respond to His messages?  Uhhh, NO. Matter of fact, people walked away from His messages.  They responded the opposite of the way they SHOULD have. And it had nothing to do with His eloquence or worthiness.  It was the choice of the person listening, what to do with what He said. 

One guy even fell asleep during one of Paul's sermons.  Fell out of a barn loft and got himself killed too.  Paul just went down, raised him from the dead in Jesus' name, and went back to teaching. 

"Can I get an Amen?" means - at its core - that the speaker is insecure about his/her ability to communicate - or angry and frustrated that people aren't on the same page as he or she is.  Or afraid that people will reject him/her. But what the listeners hear is: "You guys are STUPID if you don't get this..." (or not good Christians, or even backslidden...) 

Here's what silence from the pew usually means, instead of what the speaker FEARS it means:

(1) Yes, I know that. Now tell me something I DON'T know.
(2) I'm not ready to hear that yet.  I'm not even sure if I agree with it. Maybe I need to go home and study more on it.
(3) I wish that guy would stop repeating himself and get ON with it. I'm not stupid.  (Or stop shouting: I'm not deaf.)
(4) I'm just not the jump-around immediate-response kind of person.  I get the message, I just need to think more about it.

It could even mean this:
(5) Wow.  I never thought about it (could be something the speaker said ten minutes ago) that way.  God is really speaking to me and I can't be bothered with what the person up front is saying right now. 

HERE's where I got this photo

There could be any NUMBER of reasons why a parishoner doesn't produce the expected response to a message.  We're not marionettes.  We're people.  

So to those folks who have a burning message on their hearts to share: 

Say what God laid on your heart to say and ONLY what He has laid on your heart to say.  Resist the temptation to talk about your pet theme. 

Say it ONCE (we don't need to hear it five times in five different ways, or in increasing volume as if we're hard of hearing).  And then ... sit down.  You don't have to fill your half-hour slot (or 22 minutes, as I heard one pastor say).  If it takes ten minutes, it takes ten minutes.  Maybe that would leave God more time to work AFTERward, without laying on people the added distraction of wondering if they will have enough time in their schedules for time at the altar before their child (or spouse) will need to be fed. 

You are ministering TO GOD.  If the people within earshot "get it" - so much the better.  But your audience is an audience of One - always was, always will be. 

You don't need to be successful and to have people hang on your every word.  You only need to be faithful.  Just listen to Him, not to your own insecurities.

And finally, you don't have to be the Holy Spirit.  That's HIS job.  Not yours.  He doesn't need your help.  He will do what only HE CAN do ... because only HE can see the heart.

Let Him do His work unhindered. Please.

All God - Awe Some

The story flowed out, at first a trickle, growing into a torrent from her lips.  

Detail after detail spilled forth, all the more amazing to me by the realization that these things actually happened to someone I never would have dreamed would go through them.  And they happened without me even being aware. 

Found this diagram HERE

As the tale unfolded, I could see the hand of God in all of the events that transpired - whether withholding, directing, or suppressing, each in turn and with a multiplicity of people (tuned into Him or not), circumstances, and organizations under His control.  How He allowed things to get to a desperate point and used things, people and events that only He knew how to orchestrate ... to work a miracle.  A bona fide, life-saving miracle.  Using ordinary people, doing extraordinary things, under His direction, His choreography.  

The magnitude of it, of the enormous implication of even one tiny detail being out of place or timed improperly, simply astounded me. 

It still does. 

That's how God works.  He works His wonders patiently, intricately, picking up the most minute of threads and weaving them into beautifully detailed patterns - and at the same time, He allows us to participate in His plan (He decides when, how, and how much) - just so that we can experience the awesomeness that is Him.  I am humbled, awed, by the all-sufficiency and generosity of the Only One who knows the end from the beginning.  

And grateful.  So very grateful.  God literally gave my friend back to me, plucked her out of the jaws of the destroyer, and saw fit to allow me to play a part in that process so that I could see Him work - up close and personal.  

And the joy of that is not just the miracle in my friend's life (which is HUGE), but also in my own life. I realized that He is not finished with me, either, and that everything that He has started in me, He'll finish.  And that I can take absolutely no credit for anything that He does through me: it's all Him.  It's ALL Him.  Only He can work things out so perfectly. 

I'm so very glad He did.