The Face of Evil

When I was a kid, it was easy to know who the villain was in a TV show or a movie.  It was the ugly guy.  It was the gunslinger with the black hat.  Or the supervillain with the evil laugh and /or the cartoon character with the pointy ears.  It was hardly ever the ravishingly beautiful person.  Or the one who seemed to be so nice.  

But real life isn't like that.  The old saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover," is a double-edged sword.  Sometimes the most beautiful people are those who seem to be unapproachable on the outside, yes.  I know a few people like that and am glad that I have taken the time to get to know them.  But the opposite is also true.  Just because someone is attractive or seems nice ... doesn't necessarily make it so.  Appearances can indeed be deceptive.  

I got to thinking one time recently about what the worst kind of evil, what the purest form of evil, looks like.  I know that evil is, in a sense, faceless: it is no respecter of appearances.  I'm not talking about appearances, but about attitude.  After examining several options, I believe that the purest and most dangerous form of evil is that which truly believes itself to be good.  

The most obvious form of that type of evil would be someone like that guy called Adolf that was rattling around Europe in the 1930s and early 1940s.  He was an impressive guy, a consummate leader - and truly believed he was doing the world a favour by committing genocide.  One religious organization even called him "the defender of the faith" for that stance.  Of course another guy named Winston kind of took exception to Adolf's "vision" for a brave new world - and stood up to him the way you'd stand up to any bully.  He got some folks to join him and stop Adolf. Thank God! 

But we don't have to come face to face with a Hitler to be exposed to pure evil.  It is so rampantly wide-spread that we could rub shoulders with it every day and not be aware of it.  

Rarely is it ever up-front about its agenda; sometimes it is not even aware that there IS an agenda (and would be righteously indignant if you even suggested it)!  And the agenda always boils down to the same thing: power.  

Evil is power-hungry.  And if it can achieve its purpose (and thereby gain that power for a longer period of time) by putting on the face of a saint, it will.  Confronted, it may act injured, longsuffering, or bewildered.  Only when it's unequivocally exposed for what it is, will the claws and fangs come out.  

This story is repeated so many times throughout so many generations.  Power-struggles are so common in relationships, whether husband-wife or parent-child or boss-employee or teacher-student.  And it could be the seemingly submissive one who actually wields the most power.  I remember being close friends with one couple early in our marriage where the husband seemed to rule the roost ... to the casual observer ... yet it was the wife who manipulated, wheedled, and controlled what happened in the everyday.  

At first subtly, then more and more as the children came along and grew, this woman - with a sweet smile, happy-go-lucky outlook, and syrupy voice - undermined her husband's reputation with his children, drove a wedge between him and them, and took their side in parental decisions against him and in front of the children ... every time.  The children grew up disrespecting him, openly criticizing him, and rebelling against him.  And all the while, she decided what happened, how it happened, who went where and what they did.  Finally when the husband died early - of a stress-related illness (who knew?) - the whole family did a flip-flop and talked about him as if he was some sort of saint - which he would have been the first to admit he wasn't.  

Not long after, the wife looked around for someone else to control (oops, HELP) - and found a new target in the husband's mother.  And everyone looking on from the outside thought that she was such a brave soul for facing life without her husband, for carrying on, and for being so nice to her mother-in-law and carrying on her husband's memory.  But in essence, she had lived her life without her husband from the get-go.  His feelings, his opinion, his input was never listened to or asked for - and when he gave it anyway, he was belittled in front of his children.  Now that he is gone, it has made little difference in her life except to remove the little bit of resistance he provided. She is actively feathering her nest and taking advantage of her mother-in-law, using her visits and her children as weapons to get what she wants: the family heirlooms, that is.  And most people still think she is so sweet.  The saddest part of it is ... so does she. 

It's so very tragic.  Yet this is only one example of so very many similar situations in so many families world-wide.  This is where pure evil thrives - not so much in despots and political parties and institutions like the film industry (or whatever is the most recent target of the moral majority) ... but in homes, churches, schools and workplaces all around the world.  

It makes me all the more determined to examine my own motivations - to pray and ask God to reveal the secret places in me where I hide from my own agendas, where I have myself convinced that I'm doing the right thing, where I still try to gain the upper hand at the expense of my husband's and/or my children's self-esteem or their freedom to choose.  I remember living that kind of life for decades, and thinking it perfectly normal and "right."  What it really was, was the natural result of the original curse: "Your desire will be to rule over your husband...." (Genesis 3).  And I had fallen for that hard-wired obsession to rule it all: hook, line, and sinker.  It took a great deal of Life beating me down into submission, for me to understand just what I was doing and to ask for help in letting go.  It's only by the Grace of God that I can even see an inkling of that compulsion in myself.  And it's only by His Grace that I can be free of it.

Leaving and Cleaving

One thing I've heard a fair bit about lately - from various (married) sources - is the idea that one's "home" is where one grew up or where one's parents live.  

While I almost envy folks who have a good relationship with their parents, I think I would draw the line at the thought of having one's homing signal beeping out from smack dab in a parental home.  I'm talking mostly about the loyalty factor but also about the idea that it's okay to live with "Mum and Dad" after starting a conjugal relationship with someone else.

I understand that for some, this is the only solution financially.  But having lived with a parent after marriage (either in the parent's home or having the parent live in mine) I can say from experience that it can be (and very often IS) problematic to share control over a household in that manner.  Nobody knows who is in charge or has the final say, especially if there is (gifted or loaned) money involved.  Styles of household management differ.  Methods of parenting are very often a topic of friction.  And then there's the uncomfortable dynamic of parents taking the side of one or the other of the adult children who are living under the same roof, during an argument.  Not to mention the temptation some parents have to criticize everything the daughter in law or the son in law does and yet not lift a finger to help.  Or to do everything for the child and in so doing, "take over" and not let their child be independent.  But I shan't go there today.  

The model of multi-generational households has been around for a long time. The Jews in Jesus' day, for example, helped their children get a good start in their marriage by the son being allowed to build on to his parents' home or build a house on his parents' property, and set up housekeeping.  But it was never meant to be reason for one generation to meddle in the affairs of the other.  

The natural order of things is for the children to grow up, move out, and start their own family unit.  Jesus quoted Genesis 1 (ahem, that was BEFORE the Fall of mankind!) when He said that the original intent was for a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.  The same could be said of the woman - that she would leave her father and mother and cleave to her husband.  That means that "home" is now with each other. It is NOT in the parental house. It's in the wedding vows by the way... "...forsaking all others..." could just as easily apply to the birth family as to previous boyfriends/girlfriends.  

Source:  (from Google Images)
http://triadmomsonmain.com/_blog/My_Blog/post/
Is_Your_Mother-In-Law_a_Marie_Barone/

 Even if not living with "Mum and Dad," the parent-child (or the in-law) relationship can wreak havoc - as can the idea that the person's locus of identity is not in the nuclear family (i.e., with the spouse and children) but with the birth family.  

Many people DO have good relationships with their parents and in-laws, and their siblings and their spouses for that matter. Congratulations if you are one of them!! But I've seen it happen:  the fastest way to wreck an intimate spousal relationship is to have too close of a relationship with the parents.  The kind where - for emotional support - one turns to the parent rather than the spouse, the kind that complains about the spouse to the parent,  ... a friend of mine calls this "up your nose" relationship "spousing" (an interesting and descriptive term which I've found useful.) This can be done with parents, friends, relatives, children, even co-workers ... and it is always unhealthy. I've even known people to practice "spousing" at church.  In fact, one husband yelled - as he threw a Bible across the room in a fit of temper - "Why don't you just take a bed and LIVE up there?"

How long has it been, I wonder, since I've gone to my husband FIRST and asked HIS opinion on something I was thinking about?  Since I've taken HIS side in a discussion?  Since I've chosen time with HIM over time with another family member - or time with 'the girls'?  Since I've gone where HE wanted to go?  Since I've told him that my home is with HIM and not somewhere else?  Since I've expressed to him how very much I love HIM? 

It's well worth thinking about.

A Safe Place to Land

"I wish I could have the love for God that you do," someone said to me once.  I shook my head.  There was only one response I could give.  "He rescued me.  He took me as I was and brought me up out of a really scary place, saved me from myself.  He literally saved my life."  

The last couple of days I've been thinking a lot about the grace of God.  Totally unmerited, freely lavished, crazy-love Grace.  

When a building is burning, and the fire-ladders can't reach to the floor where the fire is, the fire-fighters will set up a safety net and tell people to jump.  If people are too scared to jump, they succumb to the smoke and they die.  Taking that jump, that leap of desperation, is the choice they make to trust that the net will keep them from perishing when they land.  

Source (via Google Images):
http://macriacao.blogspot.com/2010/05/safety-net.html

It's a safe place.  Scary to take the jump, to trust yourself to a thin layer of nylon, yes.  But it's the only way. All other exits are fiery passages of certain death.  There's only one way out alive: jumping for the net.

And - that's what faith is.  It isn't just believing that the net of God's grace will hold - it's actually jumping, even if we're scared. And that kind of faith is repeated over and over again in our relationship with God.  Free-falling onto His power, His love, His forgiveness, over and over and over.  

Not that we try to fail. (Although the more we try by ourselves, the more sure we are to fail... but I've already talked about that.) But the more we are in Him ... the more we realize that every step, every decision is a free-fall into His safety net of tenderness, of compassion, of mercy.  And when we mess up ... and we WILL mess up ... the greatest safety net of all is there: His love.  Mike Warnke used to say it something like this way: I could explain it theologically, exigetically, philosophically, using all kinds of big words like that.  But it still all boils down to one thing, the most profound message the world has ever known:
     Jesus loves me, this I know
     For the Bible tells me so.
     Little ones to Him belong;
     They are weak but He is strong.
     Yes, Jesus loves me, yes, Jesus loves me,
     Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.  

Healing, restoration, acceptance, forgiveness - it's all there.  

Just jump.

Life Support

Say the words "life support" and folks think immediately of someone who is being kept alive on a machine.  The person is totally dependent upon someone (or something) else to keep him or her alive.  Few - if any - of us would want to be in such a position. 

But read the teachings of Jesus or of Paul and you quickly come to one conclusion.  The "abundant life" is not humanly possible.  In fact, it springs from the abundance that only God can give, and keeps giving as we rely totally on Him.  

When I think of this dynamic, sometimes I think of baby robins, which I believe to be the ultimate picture of utter dependence on God.  Totally helpless to fend for themselves, all baby robins know to do is to ask mom or dad for the basic stuff of life.  They do this loudly and persistently.  They cannot fly, they cannot feed themselves, they can't even see at first.  They are only "activated" in their asking for help, by the presence of the parent-provider.  

Source (through Google Images):
http://badanimalpuns.com/2009/05/06/
birds-eye-view-of-history/

It's one of the pictures that comes to mind when I read the words of God through the pen of an unknown psalmist, "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it."  (Ps. 81:10)  Or the words of Jesus, "Without Me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5)  I'm also reminded of part of a familiar passage I like to listen to, from what some call "The Big Book." It goes like this: "Without help it is too much for us.  But there is One who has all power. That One is God: may you find Him now. Half-measures availed us nothing.  We stood at the turning point.  We asked His protection and care with complete abandon."  

Living moment-by-moment in total dependence on God is the only way to keep from succumbing to the delusion that we can make life work on our own terms.  And the more we realize that we are just like those baby robins, the more we will get out of our own way and rely totally on Him. 

Now that's Life support.

Pillars and Pariahs

It's been said that two wrongs don't make a right.  I fully agree.  But I also think that two rights don't necessarily make a right either.  In fact, they may make a worse wrong than the two wrongs ever did.  For an example of this idea on a national level (using the US as an example), just read the following link at the Huffington Post:
A Parable: Is it Always Right to Be Right?

The church is riddled with people who firmly believe they are right, no matter what side of an issue they are on.  Right about birth control. Right about abortion. Right about same-sex relationships. Right about this doctrine or that doctrine (don't get me started). Right about what constitutes holiness. Right about level of church involvement / ministry.  Right even about global issues like war, environmental stewardship, or social justice.  Pick a topic and you'll find at least three opinions on it ... and each proponent will say that his or her opinion on that topic is the right one.  

Source (via Google Images):
http://www.inmagine.com/
kcd00131/kcd00131083-photo

The problem with being right - is that everyone else's opinion is (by definition) wrong.  And by being seen as wrong, or not-right, these ones are automatically judged, shunned, left out in the cold.  

I'm not saying that there aren't absolute truths.  I'm saying that people can major on minors so easily.  People can become self-righteous Pharisees without realizing it.  I was ... for decades.  I judged those who didn't agree with my particular brand of religious behavior (I won't call it Christianity because I used to call it that - and it so wasn't).  

The "I'm right and you're wrong" mentality results in two classes of people: pillars and pariahs.  Heroes and villains.  I know people who consider themselves to be pillars of their church - who treat others who don't share their narrow viewpoint like pariahs.  Pillars  consider it perfectly right and proper (even their God-given right) to call the ones they've deemed as pariahs down to the lowest.  Why?  because of (their interpretation of) Paul's reference to Christians being seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus (Eph. 2:6) - their idea is that since the only place to sit is in the throne with Him, they are - even now - sitting in the seat of judgment and therefore have the right to judge others.  How twisted is that??  

God is delivering me from the pillar-of-the-church mindset.  He's putting me in situations where I must accept others for who they are and what they believe, even if it differs from me or my beliefs.  You see, I felt threatened by anyone who disagreed with my beliefs. I felt attacked if they didn't share them.  And God is bringing me to the place where I can accept not only myself for who I am, but also them for who they are.  I am learning that they have a right to be who they are, to believe as they do, and that it's not my business or my job to make them look like perfect little replicas of me.  (Yikes - that would be scary!!)  My responsibility is to look after my own side of the street, to keep my eyes on my own relationship with God and not to interfere with theirs, to accept all people - no matter if they're spotted or striped, purple or green, liturgical or fundamentalist, whatever.  

I've been a pillar.  I've been a pariah.  Having experienced both, I can say that neither is a good place to be.  Once I experienced what it was like to be accepted for who I am, it freed me to grant others the same courtesy.  Instead of a pillar or a pariah, I became a real person.  And I started seeing others as real people too.

I much prefer being a person. 

A + B = C

You can't go very far in Christian circles before you run into it.  Sermons are rife with it, so are Christian books of every type and description. Five things you need to know about the Bible.  Seven attributes of a Spirit-filled life.  Four guarantees to answered prayer.  While all these might be wonderful and good in their proper context, they do run the risk of giving people the idea that the Christian life is something that we can master, and they use scripture to back up their claims!  Without coming right out and saying it (at least, most of them don't), they claim to have life all figured out - to have God all figured out.  And they imply that those who don't follow their pattern for prosperity or success (or whatever the case may be) are sadly missing out on "all God has for them."

Formula-based living. 
The "A plus B equals C" mentality.  

Let's take the basic example of prayer.  I want God to do something for me.  It's really important to me.  So I pray.  My prayer is structured like this at its core (although I "pretty it up" to hide it from myself) :

(A) I need this; You promised this; how can this not be Your will? it's what I would do! 
(B) I've done everything I'm supposed to do for You.  
(C) You are therefore obligated to give this to (do this for) me.  

We do this in pretty much every area.  We think that if we do this, and say that, then we can expect a certain result.  Expecting is not wrong.  Praying is not wrong. Doing things for God is not wrong. What concerns me is attitude.  There is an mind-set ... in some cases, perhaps in a lot more cases than we might think ... of entitlement - an attitude that frightens me.  

It goes right back to Cain.  Remember him?  He knew that God required sacrifice; his dad had told him what happened the day they were exiled from Eden.  But Cain's perception of the requirement ... was that he worked hard for the quality of the vegetables, grain, and fruit that he cultivated.  God should be pleased with the labor - the sacrifice he had made with the sweat of his brow - and that his offering should be acceptable.  We know that it wasn't; we know that God accepted his brother Abel's sacrifice instead. Cain's story teaches us that human effort is not what God is looking for; He's looking for trust - for obedience, yes, but in the context of total reliance on Him.

Source (via Google Images):
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/
2007/12/071213194723.htm

And yet we miss that "trust thing."  We insist that God can be impressed with our own efforts, deluded into thinking that we can influence the decisions of the Almighty, or that we can get along without His help.  We give lip service to trusting Him but we go on about our lives as though our living the life He wants is up to us.  

And - eventually - we fail miserably and end up (whether we admit it to ourselves or not) screaming at God as if it is His fault.  Or ... which is too often the case ... thinking that we haven't been fervent enough, dedicated enough, self-sacrificing enough, good enough for God to take notice - and that leads to even greater intensity of human effort, the very thing that will lead to even greater failure.  

The apostle Paul severely warned against formula-based living. He wrote about it to the Galatians; it's the whole point of his letter to them!  They'd succumbed to the insidious "Jesus AND" doctrine. That is - the teaching that grace isn't enough, that human effort is required to complete salvation or to receive reward. Paul speaks strong words to these people, "You foolish Galatians!  who has bewitched you....?  Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"  (3:1-3, NASB)  

James, in his book, speaks of works showing faith, that faith without works is dead.  This is true - yet the works of which he speaks are those produced by the life of God within, not human effort.  Scripture must interpret itself in whole, and no scripture can be of private interpretation.  When Paul warns against formula-based living, or of imposing a bunch of rules and regulations onto a believer, he's not saying, "Let's not have rules."  He's saying, "The life that Jesus died to give you can be made ineffective by adding the human component."  

For an example, we need look no further than those who say they are Christians but who act as though there are different classes of Christians: those who are following the 'rules' (be that tithing, giving to missions, going on missions trips, attending every church function, holding an office in some sort of ministry, and the list goes on, and on) and those who aren't.  Not that there is anything inherently wrong with those things.  I'm saying that when they are done in our own strength, perhaps to gain some sort of spiritual bank account with God that we can spend to get what we want, then they have become the focus ... and God has become secondary: a means to an end.  Gratitude is replaced by greed.  Of course we don't recognize it as such.  We more often see it as working toward ensuring our eternal reward.  Just like Cain.

We forget that we are dealing with the God of the universe here.  The agent of Creation.  The great "I am."  It was HIS initiative that made it possible for us to even have a relationship with Him.  It was HIS sacrifice that made a way for us to approach Him. Even the faith we placed in Him to receive that great gift is not our own - He gave it to us (Eph. 2: 8,9). It is HIS Spirit that he put inside of us when we activated that faith-gift.   And in depending solely on our own strength, what we are doing - in essence - is rejecting that Spirit and saying, "No, I got this covered, God. I'm in charge here. I'll pull Your chain when I need You.  And oh, by the way, aren't You impressed with how well I'm doing?"  

Paul even went as far as to say to the Galatians the exact opposite of what is taught or thought about in Christian circles these days.  "You have been severed from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by the law; you have fallen from grace."  (5:4, NASB)  

Wow!  We have come to believe that a person who has fallen into some kind of sin like being unfaithful to their spouse or stealing from the church or whatever - as qualifying for that designation of having "fallen from grace."  Yet Paul says that it's not that at all! it's rather a focus on going back and keeping all the rules, of superimposing religion on top of relationship! 

Perhaps it's time to check our math.  Maybe it isn't as simple as A plus B equals C.  Maybe God's a bit bigger than that.  Maybe His ways are greater than our ways. Maybe we haven't got Him all figured out.  Maybe His sense of goodness, justice, and grace is far bigger than we can imagine.  Maybe it really is as simple as Jesus plus zero.  Maybe it's ALL Him and we get to go along for the ride.  Maybe we just need to let go and - with a heart full of gratitude for His grace and His empowering Spirit - let Him be who He has been all along ... and has so longed for us to embrace.

To Be Known

A couple of posts ago I made passing reference to this topic of 'being known' by God.  

Paul talks about this specifically more than anyone else does in scripture. It's not one of his major themes, but it does pop up in his writings more, probably because he was well-versed in the Old Testament scriptures (more about those later).  

To introduce this idea, perhaps I'd better turn to one of the more beloved passages in Scripture: that of the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, written by the apostle Paul.  Verse 12 says (about when he finally gets to Heaven) "... then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known."  

But doesn't God know everything and everyone?  After all, Jesus said that the hairs of our head are numbered, David talked about God knowing everything about us.  However, given the context, I believe that Paul is talking about a different kind of knowledge.  He talks about being "fully known."  This is a reference to the ancient Hebrew term "yada" which means to know someone the way a man "knows" his wife - that is, in an intimate way.  Ooh.  That puts a WHOLE new spin on it!  

Which explains the teaching of Jesus about judgement day, when people start listing all the wonderful things they've done, and the Judge says, "Depart from Me ... I never knew you."  

OUCH.  I guess that's kind of important, then.  So ... what does it mean to be "known by" God?

Source (via Google Images):
http://www.warholstars.org/chron/1963.html

In 1 Cor. 8:3, Paul says, "If anyone loves God, he is known by Him." (By the way, that "loves" is the Greek agapé - often referred to God's love - which means it's humanly impossible!  It's so like Him to proactively give us the kind of love we need, with which to love Him back!!  It speaks of John's words, "We love Him because He first loved us.")  This also rings true with the secondary meaning of the term "to know" - which is "to progressively become familiar with" - that is, as in a very close friendship (which, if it works right, is the foundation out of which springs every good intimate relationship - but I digress).

In Galatians 4:9, Paul says again, "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?" (I may come back to the book of Galatians - one of my faves - in another post.)

So from the above verses, we've seen that being known by God is far more than just being known the way a creator knows his creation - it involves an intimate personal relationship which is progressive. It produces a desire to know God in that same way (Paul speaking here again): "More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish, that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him..." (Philippians 3: 8-10a)   

Wow!!  That's passion!  and it originates with Christ's love and passion for us.  

The intercourse imagery behind the verb "to know" brings me right back to a couple of Old Testament references.  One is the Song of Solomon - which if you would like to read as an allegory between Jesus and us, do so in a version that shows who is speaking - such as the Message. (By the way, the intensity of the language is enough to make some of us blush!)  The other is the reference in Genesis 3, after the fall of man, where (in the King James Version) it says, "And Adam knew his wife..." (This is the Hebrew word 'yada' which I mentioned before.)   It doesn't take much imagination to picture that. This kind of "to know" is repeated again and again in the Old Testament - Moses and the prophets are full of sexual references!  Anyway, I was thinking primarily of these two passages.  And there are some parallels that I would like to draw before I close this post, keys to allowing God to know us.  Individually.  Completely.

1.  We have to get close.  God took the initiative on this one - but we can always say no - and when we say No, there is no know.

2.  We have to spend time at it.  This is not a one-time thing and we've done our duty.  It's meant to be enjoyed, something to look forward to.

3.  We have to open ourself.  Spiritual penetration is not possible until we are open to it.  Um... I think I'll leave it at that.

4.  We have to talk.  (Sorry, guys.)  Spiritual intimacy is the context for conversation about what matters. It builds trust, deepens the bond.

5.  We have to linger.  Not just the act itself, but also the little things shared throughout the day can enhance spiritual union. Solomon talked about his bride "ravishing" him with just one glance.  Whew!  

The topic has been a hot one!!  Here's hoping the spiritual fireworks get ignited...