God's appointments

"Disappointments are God's appointments." - Nancy Ravenhill

The way is rough. The way is long and hard. Nettles stick in the feet. Stones stub the toes. Bruises, bleeding, and questioning are the rules of the day. And then God comes alongside and speaks to the heart of the matter. The weariness lifts, the ache eases, and doubt subsides. 

Ever have one of those times when you didn't know if you were even on the right path, but all you could do was keep plodding? and then God meets your need and speaks to you through the darkness, and a little light comes on inside? It's almost as if the sky clears and the sun rises after a dark and rainy night. You want to tell everyone you know - Rejoice with me! Isn't this fantastic? Wow! God met me where I was, and He really came through for me!! Woo-HOOOO!!

Image "Sunrise At First Sight" by Keattikorn at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

I had the privilege of watching that happen for someone today. It had been quite the rough patch and he wondered if there was even anyone out there who cared ... and then an act of kindness blew him away and he was left completely floored, amazed at the goodness of God and of those who share His heart for those who are in need. We shared in that rejoicing that comes when the poor widow finds the lost coin, when a prayed-for miracle happens, when God meets a need that seemed impossible. It was truly inspiring to see that, to be part of that experience.

And we spontaneously worshipped God together. God's presence was there in power in that humble little place, and we enjoyed true fellowship. We were sharing Scripture with each other, and listening to uplifting music whenever God would lead in that direction. We didn't decide, "Well, now I think we'll have church. Pull out the hymnbooks Martha May."  There was no organ, no offering plate, no trappings of any kind; just us. Yet Jesus was there, just as sure as we were, "in the midst." And He was (like we were) grinning from ear to ear all afternoon and well into the evening. It was one of God's appointments, and we were there to enjoy it and be grateful for it.

Life's trials are hard, no question of that. But I wonder sometimes if we've gotten it backward when we question His motives after we've prayed and nothing happens. Perhaps life's disappointments are rather opportunities for God to involve people who hear His voice, and allow those people to participate in what He is doing to answer someone's prayer, meet a need, or bring blessing to someone who needs it. 

I think that's how the early church operated. If there was a need, people stepped up and met that need in Jesus' name. Givers and receivers alike could rejoice in the goodness of the same God who allowed them to join in what God was doing in both of their lives: the receivers by receiving, and the givers by giving, both knowing that it is God who is the source!

Every day could then be an adventure, and there were endless opportunities for God's people to hear His voice and keep one of His appointments with someone who needed something special to remind them that God was looking after them. I'm not sure if that makes any sense to anyone, but there is a sense of community in that kind of sharing. 

And this kind of community, I believe, is what the writer of Hebrews meant when he said not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together ... and so much the more, as we see the day approaching (11:25). Get together! Visit! See each other! Share frequently what God is doing! Meet each other's needs, if God so leads! This is the kind of dynamic that I believe the early church had, and they did NOT have a budget or a building to maintain (I'm just saying). 

And this grass-roots community, these God-appointments, or simply put, God setting stuff up so we can share His goodness and His provision, is something we've been experiencing more and more the last few years, with several individuals as God brings people our way. Sometimes, we get some inkling in advance.  Sometimes, it happens when we least expect it. 

Either way, it's exciting. It's inspiring. It's marvelous!!

Fabricated fervor

I tend to be a bit of an iconoclast. An iconoclast is someone who challenges the idols of the past and destroys them if possible. And that's a dangerous thing to be - for the iconoclast (LOL). It usually means that someone like me comes under a fair bit of attack by the proponents of the status quo. Those who are attached to their household (or sanctuary) idols feel threatened by me saying, "But WHY do we do it that way? This makes no sense! This is not right!!" and so forth. 

And so, here I go again with the sledgehammer.

Over the past several months to few years, I've been doing a LOT of thinking about how the western church "does church." And by "the church" I am talking about the people, the people groups that gather to (apparently) honour God with their worship and their love and service to each other and (hopefully) to the world. And by "does church," I am speaking about the rituals and sacred cows that we have become attached to when wearing our church-attender mask.

I've looked carefully at the early church as described in the New Testament ... and nowhere do I see that they met once a week and sang five songs, ended the singing 40 minutes later, took an offering and had a sermon with a final song or two (or five) to finish up. They met from house to house, but nowhere do I see where they had to sign up to do so. Nor do I see any kind of reference to programs or topics or themes or leaders or study books. Rather, I see people who loved being together, who went from house to house on a regular basis, possibly as much as daily (!) as the Spirit led them. And they shared and talked about Jesus, talked to Him, gained spiritual strength from being together in the presence of God. Hmmm.

That's not what I see today. It breaks my heart.

Everything we do as believers in the western church is regimented, even in denominations that have prided themselves for DECADES on being "spontaneous" and "led by the Spirit." There's a structure, a set of tasks to accomplish, and in a certain order, each taking a predetermined amount of time, without all of which (it is believed) church just doesn't happen.

It's funny .... I kind of believe that church (first of all) is whenever two or more gather together in Jesus' name. It isn't a building, it doesn't have a human-organized structure as such, and it doesn't need money to operate. (Horrors!!) Church can happen (believe it or not!) even at a bar, if it has to (and it WILL if there is no other place for God to manifest His presence). Or ... at a coffee shop. Or in a kitchen when two friends share while doing dishes. Or on a golf course. Or in someone's basement when folks get together and "jam" with a couple of guitar and/or a keyboard. Or listening to and watching some Youtube videos of worship music. Jesus said that the rocks and trees would cry out His praise if the human voices were silenced. Is it such a stretch to think that He might show up in a place that is not authorized?

The number one requirement for such a gathering is spontaneity. If that doesn't exist, the "group" is just as cold and dead as the inside of a crypt. It serves no Kingdom purpose. None at all. It's just a bunch of people congratulating themselves for "not forsaking the assembling of [themselves] together" (Heb 10:25). Can I confess that I absolutely hate that verse? Or rather, I hate what it's been used to justify; I hate that people take that verse and club people over the head for not going to church regularly or for not signing up for a small group. Or for whatever other times or reasons the church (or hand-picked leaders') doors are open.

And let me go out on a limb here and say something else that might be considered radical, even (I dunno) iconoclastic! It's simply this. Spontaneity cannot be legislated. It's like expecting positive and immediate results when a university professor stands in front of his classroom of students at 9:17 a.m., and makes an announcement to the students, "You will now have fun. Go ahead. It's fun time." 

Seriously?

Photo "Chain And Hand" by worradmu at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

It doesn't happen that way. Doubly so when we're talking about something that God has made very clear can't happen without HIM!! Humans can't create the Spirit's presence in a test tube. We can't fabricate fervor. We can't regiment passion. We can't organize an organism. 

If we do, they all die.

If we shackle what was intended to be spontaneous, there might be a little knowledge transferred and we might think we're "accomplishing something" or "learning a lot" - or even "developing relationships" ... but we will have missed the whole point. Church, real church, isn't about learning stuff or feeling accomplished or patting ourselves on the back. It's about connecting with God and with each other on a spiritual level, not on a superficial level that touches only our minds. 

I'm not saying, "Don't go to church" or anything else like that. I'm saying that it might be time to RE-THINK what we have believed is so important when we gather together. It might be time (here's a radical thought!) to allow small groups to develop on their own rather than control the whole process with leaders and training seminars and sign-up sheets and hard-core marketing techniques. 

Those things turn me off in the worst way; I run in the opposite direction when I hear those kind of heavy-handed should-fests. I don't know about you, but the best way to keep me away from something is to tell me that I HAVE to do it or to judge me for not doing it. It's by telling me that I am less of a Christian, that I'm not doing what God wants me to do if I don't subscribe to the flavour of the month, whatever that is. Sorry. It's just not going to work with me. I figure that God put a brain in my head for a reason, and He put His spirit within my heart so that I could learn to listen to His voice and do what He tells me WHEN He tells me to do it. And I don't need someone else to do that for me. 

And yes, if I could find a gathering that is truly organic, I would probably want very much to be part of it. When I find it ... that will be something to write home about.

The Relatable Jesus

You know, I've seen so much in my lifetime that passes for the way Christians think they are supposed to act and speak. This has produced a subculture where a certain lingo or jargon starts to overtake the person's interactions with people. I've seen them tilt at windmills and go on crusades to try to make other people behave according to Christian principles when quite frankly, it's only an illusion that we live in a "Christian society." All the while, some Christians will hang out together and shut out the world, developing a "siege mentality" (us vs them) and reject anything and anyone that doesn't look like them.  

At the same time, I've watched unbelievers laugh up their sleeves at such believers for years and years, (and learn to discount everything that every Christian tells them). And I've watched those same believers be mystified by that reaction (or worse yet, chalk the reaction up to 'persecution' and keep behaving in the same way). 

And even the term "unbelievers" is so ... prejudiced, isn't it? It panders to the myth that there are only two types of people in the world - people who are 'believers' (i.e., fundamentalist Christians) and people who aren't. 

Which brings me to the topic of this post. 

"White Mask" photo by podpad at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

I don't remember ever reading about Jesus turning anyone away because that person was a drunk, a prostitute, a Roman collaborator (i.e., tax-collector), or non-Jewish, or who had hair that was too long (or short) or body odour. I don't recall Him leading protest marches, burning Roman bath-houses, heading up petitions, or insisting on a dress code. People who were looking for something more in their lives flocked to Him, and He loved them all. True, He didn't participate in their dysfunction, but He also didn't shut Himself away from them and reject them just because they didn't act or think like Him. He spoke the language of the common people. He told stories that people [and not just the elite few] could relate to; He didn't (although He could have) expound at length about the ills of His society. 

He accepted people. He really cared about them. About the only thing that He came out against was the very kind of thing that I was describing in the first couple of paragraphs of this post: hypocrisy, and cruelty in the name of God. 

He didn't come to change society. He didn't come to change systems. He came to love people, to show them what God was really like. You see, people in His day had gotten it into their heads that God was all about following rules and pounding you on the head if you didn't follow them. Jesus came to change all that. He came to make a way for people to have a relationship with God. Pure and simple. Not to solve the age-old question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin (and why would they want to?) ... and not to exclude people on the basis of their differences. He came to demonstrate to the world what they never knew before He came: that God is love. He's not about punishment; He doesn't need to be appeased. Jesus appeased Him. Jesus took the punishment for us. Period. And that is the Good News.

Maybe it's time that Christians remembered that, because it seems that a lot of us have forgotten. We put on masks. We hide behind the denominational label, behind the church pews, and we take pot shots in frustration at the world and the people in it. We make ourselves unapproachable by the very things that we do that we think show others that we are dedicated followers of Jesus. 

Yet Jesus was the most relatable human being ever. 

If we are un-relatable, if people can't relate to us or don't want to be around us, it doesn't mean that we're "doing something right." It means that we are doing something wrong. We are (in our efforts to show the world that we're His) excluding them and pushing them away from our lives, ruining every opportunity to be the salt and light that Jesus said we already are just because we hang around Him. 

What I'm suggesting is not that we stop standing for what is right. What I AM suggesting is that we take a good, long, hard look at ourselves, that we open our hearts and ask God to show us how we are keeping or driving people away from Him by the way we act, the people we hang around with (and don't hang around with) and the language that we use without even being aware of it. If we ask Him to show us those blind spots and to make us more like He is, I think He will be delighted to show us - and love through us, mask-free - without us getting in the way.

Harmful things many Christians believe

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about how people have certain beliefs that are so destructive for their personal and/or spiritual growth. These attitudes are pervasive; that is, they are everywhere. However, I've noticed them most (and perhaps it's because I get around most in these circles) in the church. The list below is not exhaustive by any means, but I have put together a few of the most harmful-to-the-spirit things that believers believe ... and all of them are myths, yet taught as truth.

1. It's all about the outside. Yeah, that old myth is still kicking around. I'm not so much talking about physical appearance here (although that can be included) as I am about the penchant believers have to lay down rules and regulations, obligations and expectations of themselves, and then expect others to follow them. And when others don't follow them, they judge these people and call into question their commitment or their dedication.
   
   This myth is born from fear: if I don't measure up, if I don't do enough, God won't love me. Or my prayers won't get answered. Or I won't have a nice car. Oh please. God's love and God's grace don't work that way. Get a grip on even a corner of the lavish love that God has for you, and that myth will vanish like fog on your glasses when you enter a warm house after being outside in the cold. Understand the grace of God and you will live in gratitude and not in fear.
   
   
2. Self-denial and self-love are mutually exclusive.  Yikes! This is a variation of the first one!! The belief is that one is a good person if one is self-sacrificing and never looks after oneself. In fact, this belief is the fast track to burnout! Jesus knew this; He often took time away from the crowds to be alone and spend time with His Dad. He recharged His spiritual batteries and was ABLE to give Himself fully to others BECAUSE He spent that time looking after His own spiritual health. That "J-O-Y" that we learned in Sunday School (Jesus-others-you spells Joy)? Yeah THAT's a myth. It's more accurate to say, "Jesus pours into you and fills you up, so that you can pour into others."
   
   A healthy self-love is crucial to the ability to lay aside what we prefer at times, in order to meet another's need. When we don't care about ourselves, we will not care about others; remember, the 2nd greatest commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Not instead of ourselves or before ourselves.
   
   I'm not talking about narcissism here. I'm talking about knowing yourself, knowing your limits, and looking after your own spiritual condition first. In that regard, I'm a big believer in the saying, "You can't give away what you don't have."
    
3. I need to defend God. Hmmm, here's a sticky one. The idea here is that any time anyone says something that we don't believe, or expresses an opinion that casts a shadow on the Bible, or espouses a cause that is not "scriptural" ... we feel we have the right - indeed the obligation - to point that out.
   
   This is probably the one thing above all other things that gives Christians a bad reputation, because "pointing that out" causes others - and so many more than we can even imagine - to dismiss us as judgmental hypocrites, having no compassion or tolerance for other people.
   
   I had quite a problem getting this myth expunged from my psyche. Finally, it dawned on me. Freedom of speech and freedom of religion means that everyone has the right to say or to believe what he or she wishes, within certain legal boundaries. That a person - or a government - or a social group - says or believes something that I don't believe is actually a good thing. If that person or that entity loses the right to say or believe that thing that I don't like, freedom of speech and freedom of religion don't exist. And if they don't exist, then I lose the right to say or believe what I want. It goes both ways, you see. The golden rule is still golden.
   
   One of the things we have lost - I believe - in the last few hundred years since the Reformation, is the wonderful and nearly lost art of acceptance. Accepting people and situations the way they are can go a lot farther than placards and petitions, protests and punishment. Jesus operated like that. He wasn't a pushover and He did not join in others' evil deeds. But He ate with tax-collectors and prostitutes. He accepted everyone the way they were, and loved them. Their own gratitude for that love transformed them. The only ones He had judgmental words for were the people who were so tightly bound up in how everyone else was doing it wrong (and how much better they were than everyone else) that they couldn't accept that He might be who He said He was. Even those among that 'elite' group who were willing to listen to Him, He accepted and loved just as much as the fishermen and farmers who flocked to the hillsides to hear Him and to watch Him love people.
   
   God is a big boy. He can look after Himself. He doesn't need me to run roughshod over other people to prove a point defending His honor. I can trust Him to do that... and He does it far better than I ever could, and with far more compassion and mercy.
   
   
4. I need to understand everything. Wow. The older I get the more I realize how silly and potentially dangerous this myth is. It's important to know what we believe and why we believe it. But there are things about what we believe that just don't cut it. They can't even come close to explaining all there is to know about God and about how He works. And I don't need to comprehend it. If I do, or if I think I do, then somehow God becomes just a ho-hum part of my existence instead of an all-consuming passion. And if I feel as though I need to control everything, then I make myself something I was never meant to be. Only God has the right and the power to control it all.
   
   Mystery makes our lives interesting. It also keeps us humble. When we admit that we don't know it all, that God might be a smidgen more vast than we can conceive, or work in ways other than what we might have thought ... our world expands. It's like standing at the foot of a mountain we've only read about. There is nothing like that feeling of being so small, such a speck on the sands of time, to give us perspective and to make us grateful beyond imagination for the love and the mercy and the grace of our great God toward us.
    
5. Bad things come from the devil. The problem of evil is a huge one. It is true that much of the evil in the world happens as a result of the influence of the father of lies.
   
   But not all of it does. A lot of times, bad things happen as a result of a choice ... ours or someone else's ... that sets a series of consequences in motion. And in a lot of cases, even those bad things can be turned for good because (get this) God is never surprised by the bad things that happen. He works it into His plan to transform His children into His image.
   
   He doesn't cause them to happen. He weaves them into a tapestry. Sometimes we can get a glimpse of what He is doing ... but most of the time we see that tapestry from underneath, and it appears so jumbled and tangled that it doesn't make sense to us (see myth # 4). That's where faith comes in. Faith (whatever form that takes for us) is based on what we believe the character of God is. If we believe Him to be harsh and vindictive, we will see Him as cruel and punitive. If, on the other hand, we believe Him to be loving and pure, we will see Him as having our best interest in mind, and we will better be able to trust His heart even when the storm is raging.
    

"Happy Family" image courtesy of
photostock at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

These are only a few of the myths that plague us as believers. I'm sure you can think of more. 

We put a lot of stress on ourselves by trying to do what we were never meant to do. A lot of us (and I have done this) try to be the Holy Spirit - to bring someone to our way of thinking. It's true that we can participate in doing God's work. But let's remember ... it's GOD's work. So let's let Him. 

My prayer is that we will all grow up into Him and learn to love as He did as we begin to understand how very deeply and passionately He loves us ... to love God (in return) first and foremost, to love ourselves, and then to love others as ourselves. It really is the only way to be happy.

Happy New Year!

Right where I need to be

Many times over the last several years, I've struggled with the concept of knowing what God's will is for me in a given situation.

I've wrestled with what the right choice is. I've made a choice and second-guessed myself all over the place. There have been times that I have asked for a sign from God - something only I would recognize - and although I've been taught that is a bad thing to do ("demonstrates a lack of faith") I've not felt any condemnation ... at least not from God. In fact, I'm pretty sure He was fine with Gideon's requests (where we get the term "putting out a fleece") because once Gideon was convinced that this was God ... there was no stopping him!

All that aside, I still fight uncertainty. 

And lately, I've been having yet another moral dilemma. I have spent a lot of money lately on my youngest daughter. A LOT. The money just disappears into this proverbial black hole and nothing comes out. She is starting a new life in another province and I have poured funds into helping her get on her feet: more funds in the last 3 months than some people make in a year. 

I have heard the nay-saying voices in my head. The voices that sound like they are speaking sense to me, tell me that I need to let go, let her sink or swim. But ... something inside rebelled against that.

I've sunk before. I know what it feels like. And I can't swim.

If I hadn't poured that money into that situation, the miracle that never would have happened here, happened way out there in Alberta. Without my input!! (Please see my last post, called "Outside the box".)

Image "Giving To The Poor" courtesy of
David Castillo Dominici
at www.freedigitalimages.net

Yet, the fact was that I had exhausted my tuition fund, and put myself in debt, to help her out and make sure she was safe.  I didn't know what else to do; I had spent so much money and now I was looking at spending even more for possible tuition for trade school for her. Then her landlady kicked her out - gave her 1 hour's notice and that was it. 

She was homeless. Living in her car.

I was desperate. The heavens - when I prayed (and I prayed a LOT about the financial situation) - were not saying anything.  So then I did something pretty drastic. I asked people for help. I created a fundraising (crowd-funding) website with donation buttons and the whole shebang. Promoted it on Facebook. Twitter.

Nothing. 

I put my heart out there and made myself vulnerable. I even begged for help; I humiliated myself for her sake. 

And .... nothing. 

Once I did that ... once I had opened myself to attack (i.e., yet further judgment) ... she got a job. A serving job at a fair-sized restaurant. And with renewed vigor she looked for an apartment. 

I took from that experience (and no, she still hasn't found an apartment; she is still living in her car) that God would have me open myself to people ... only to have me realize (as a lesson from Him) that people aren't my source. 

I say again: human beings aren't my source.

HE is.  All He wanted was for me to be desperate enough to make a fool of myself for love... and to realize that only He can meet my needs. And they are MY needs. I know that now.

And so, over the course of the next couple of days, I will be removing my fundraising campaign from the web, taking down my donation buttons, and packing up shop that way.  My support of my daughter is something that I choose to do ... for my own reasons, which don't need to be justified.

Just so you know.

Outside the Box

Okay, I would like to share with you today the story of a 21-year-old girl named Arielle. In June 2013, she left the safety and comfort of her parents' home (much like a prodigal but needing to make a new start as well) and traveled three thousand miles away to an unknown city that promised employment opportunities and a better life.

What she found was not as shining and sparkly as she had dreamed. She stayed in touch with her parents the whole time, through texting and sometimes calling. This was a lifeline for her, a way to stay connected.

For a while, she and her friend (NOT boyfriend) and his mother were living at the mom's ex's place. That is, until he got drunk and broke his son's nose and ordered the two young people out of his house. They got out and never looked back. They did find a job at a store, making barely enough to pay rent; their boss took pity on them and let them stay with her, for the amount they would have paid for an apartment. It was not a good idea; living in the boss' house made it so that she was privy to family secrets. She hated secrets. Pressure built at work as a co-worker made life a living hell for her. In spite of advice from her parents not to quit until she had another job lined up - she couldn't take it any more and quit her job, thinking she would be able to find another one soon enough. 

That didn't happen. Her money started running out. Her landlady (now her former boss) started looking for ways to kick her out.

In the middle of all of this, she met a wonderful young man named Tanner. This guy was fun, caring, and treated her with respect. They got to be very close, spending more and more time together. 

This past Tuesday (September 17) she picked him up from work and he said, "Let's go for a drive. I need to tell you something after we get outside the city and the traffic." He got her something to eat... and they went for a little drive. That's when he told her his story.

A guy at his work - Roy - had been speaking to him for quite some time. This fellow is a Christian ... but unlike any you'd ever expect to see - as if Christians have to always wear 3-piece suits or something (LOL - another topic for another time!) He looked like a biker dude, simply put. But he got Tanner's attention and started talking to him about God, sharing his own experience without any of the "you should" stuff. (That stuff turns people off like the PLAGUE). Tanner was listening. He was fascinated. He'd go to Roy's place and listen to him tell stories of what he'd experienced, hours upon hours sometimes.

And last Monday night, he'd been at Roy's place and suddenly, the atmosphere in the room seemed to change. There was an almost electric presence in the room; neither man spoke about it, but Tanner could feel gooseflesh rising on his skin, and he started to "get all emotional" but didn't break down or anything. And Roy reached over and touched him. "Do you feel that?" he asked. Tanner nodded. "That's God." 

Right then and there, Tanner had an experience with the Almighty One. He was shaking, crying, felt warm all over his body, and the two men just shared this amazing experience for ... well they didn't know how long.

The next day, at quitting time, Tanner's girlfriend Arielle (remember her?) picked him up from work because his car was in the shop. "I have to tell you something," he said. "But not here, let's get out of the city." He bought her some taquitos and a pop - and they set out for the countryside. He told her his story once they reached the outskirts ... as she drove. She felt goosebumps as well, hearing him tell about it. And a warmth spread over her shoulders and through her torso. 

There was a break in the conversation; they had been talking for over two hours. Tanner asked her to pull over - they were in the country so the area was pretty unpopulated - so he could take a leak. When he got out of the car and she locked the doors... she said to herself - or was it to God? - "I don't know if what I am feeling is me, whether I'm feeling Tanner's emotions or what this is... but if it's not, if it's something more, I need a sign."

IMMEDIATELY she began to sob, uncontrollably. She felt that same Presence that Tanner had told her about!! 

Photo "The Cross And The Hand" courtesy of |
njaj at www.freedigitalimages.net

In those moments, she KNEW it was real. She knew GOD was real. She knew that everything she'd ever been taught was REAL. God reached down into her life and pulled her out of her darkness and into His marvelous Light. 

When Tanner got into the car, he caught her (in her words) "bawling" her eyes out. He first checked to see if she was okay. When he had convinced himself that she was - he grinned and said, "It felt just like that for me too." 

They spent all night talking about God. And talking TO Him. Tanner shared his gospel of John with her; they started reading it together. 

Since that time, life has been transformed. They pray together. They read the book of John together because it's all they have of the Bible. She wants to get a Bible. They both want so badly to know Him more. And they want to grow in this new friendship with Jesus.

Arielle couldn't wait to call her mom and tell her that whole story, so she called this past Wednesday afternoon - saying this was too important to put in a text. "I used to be lonely all the time, Mom," she told her mother. "Now I'm not lonely any more. He saved me. It's like I have this friend with me who never leaves me." 

"Mom" has been praying for a good 10 years for her daughter to know that the gospel is true, ever since her daughter started to reject the god she had been brought up with at church. You know, the judgmental one, the one that is about rules and regulations. The one whose people are more concerned with how many swear words are in a film rather than the message it might contain to touch someone. 

"Mom" was literally dancing in happiness and gratitude, and she still is inside.

As you can probably tell, Mom's done a lot of growing in the last ten years too. 

I can vouch for that. Because that mother ... is me. And Arielle is my little girl. :'D

Boxes

A lot of the blog posts I come up with are derived from conversations I've had with my husband. Like this one. This morning at breakfast we were talking about a few things, and the topic of preconceived notions came up, the tendency that so many people have to pre-judge what belongs where and who would or would not do [fill in the blank]. 

Although it's not an exclusive activity by any means, Christians do this a lot. I've been around believers who fall prey to the fallacy that as believers, we are better than the rest of the world. Oh, they would never admit it, but they seem to act as though they believe that we're ... well, we're God's favorites. 

Let me explain. I've actually heard, from one Christian or another over the years, that one can't be a committed Christian and also :

• have a chronic or terminal illness
• go bankrupt
• have been separated or divorced
• have rebellious kids who are into sex, drugs, and alcohol
• be addicted to drugs or alcohol
• be tempted by pornography
• have struggles with honesty
• question one's faith - or even God Himself
• be depressed or "blah"
• be a liberal / conservative / social democrat (or other political - or a-political - stripe)
• admit vulnerability or weakness
• watch certain kinds of movies or TV shows
• not want to be around other Christians, or at the very least, not "toe the party line"

... and the list goes on. And on.

"Interior With White Boxes" courtesy of sumetho at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

The tendency to put people into categories and slot them into uniformly sized boxes that all look the same (usually the same size and shape as the one who's talking) has done more to keep many believers living in silent misery for months, years, decades. 

The truth is, some - if not most - believers DO struggle with those things. Maybe not all at once, but the fact remains that we Christians are just as broken as the rest of the world around us. The ONLY difference is that we have someone to talk to about it and to whom we can give control of it. That's it, that's all. 

And whether we do or don't pray about it and / or give control of it over to God - only impacts on our own private relationships, including the one with God. It is not my business to pronounce judgement on a fellow-believer for anything, nor is it his (or her) job to fix what ails me. We can encourage each other, true, (and if we do, let's be sure we're not secretly putting the other person down) but putting each other in a box is tantamount to putting God in a box. 

Not that we are divine by any stretch - but when we categorize and pigeon-hole each other, we're saying to God that He can't possibly use or work through this person with "Thing X" in his or her life. 

That kind of smacks of arrogance, don't you think? "Be more like me. Then God will be able to do something with you." It implies that God is unable to accomplish His will when and how He chooses.

God's a big boy. It's His job to fix people; He alone has the power to do that. He can look after things Himself; if He wants my help, He'll ask for it specifically. He can do that. He's God!

Maybe it's time I let God out of the box and stopped trying to do His job for Him. Maybe it's time I let the people I know out of the boxes I've put them into while all the while I was thinking I was "helping" them. 

And while I'm at it, maybe I'd better stop keeping myself in one too, and start believing that God can and will effect change - positive change - in my life.