I love God's people. I do. The last few months especially, I've come to appreciate how incredibly amazing they can be: loving, supportive, generous, and compassionate.
Sometimes, though, the "other side" of people raises its head and I find myself wondering what happened. People have their own agendas, their own "stuff" ... and sometimes that stuff gets in the way of good relationships.
The hard truth is that because human beings are human beings, there are going to be situations where someone is going to get hurt. I understand that. I've hurt people before. And I've been hurt before. It happens.
That doesn't mean it hurts any less or that the feelings are not valid.
Lately there's been a situation where I have been feeling rejected and lied to, something that keeps happening with annoying regularity and which hurts. every. time. It happened again this week. Every time it happens, it feels like someone has struck me in the face. I feel rejected, undervalued and dismissed all over again. And every time I need to "deal" and find some peace in the situation because quite frankly, I don't see it ever changing. Call that a lack of faith if you want to, but it's also a whole lot of experience talking.
Today as I sat in church (why is it that these things come to a head on Communion Sundays?) struggling with this recurring situation which was making me feel so worthless, I heard my pastor say (as he was introducing Communion) "He came to His own, and His own received Him not." (John 1:11)
Huh, I thought. Wait a sec. Jesus' own people rejected Him, dismissed Him, and ended up being responsible for His crucifixion.
Not that my situation even comes close to His ... but then again, that's the point isn't it? The point is that He came here to make a way for humans to know God. And humans weren't interested in Him or in His mission, only in their own agendas and interpretations of why He was here. The Bible tells us that Jesus was "in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin." (Heb. 4:15) He went through all of that so that He could relate to our suffering. There is absolutely NOTHING I can go through, nothing that can happen to me or no emotion that I can feel, that He has not gone through or felt.
He understands.
"Consider Him who endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest you be weary and faint in your minds." (Heb. 12:3)
We like to pretty it up, make it seem less gruesome than it really was, but the cross was a pretty awful place - the most barbaric form of execution ever known to humankind up until that time in the history of the world. The scourging itself was enough to kill someone, but Jesus was made of stern stuff physically (carpenter by trade, walked at least 30 miles a day), so to the cross He went, already weakened by loss of blood and barely recognizable as human. The very people He came to help had turned on Him. Even His best friends deserted Him when it looked like the tide of popular opinion was against Him. How horrifyingly wrenching! And to top it all off, He the One Person that mattered most to Him ... His Father ... would turn His back on Jesus.
And I think MY problems are big.
Needless to say I had to have a conversation with Him today about this thing I had considered to be so hurtful. And I thanked Him for understanding, and for being patient with me. I realize that the situation is probably never going to go away, and I might need to have that conversation over and over again with Him. But that's okay.
He understands.
Sometimes, though, the "other side" of people raises its head and I find myself wondering what happened. People have their own agendas, their own "stuff" ... and sometimes that stuff gets in the way of good relationships.
The hard truth is that because human beings are human beings, there are going to be situations where someone is going to get hurt. I understand that. I've hurt people before. And I've been hurt before. It happens.
That doesn't mean it hurts any less or that the feelings are not valid.
Lately there's been a situation where I have been feeling rejected and lied to, something that keeps happening with annoying regularity and which hurts. every. time. It happened again this week. Every time it happens, it feels like someone has struck me in the face. I feel rejected, undervalued and dismissed all over again. And every time I need to "deal" and find some peace in the situation because quite frankly, I don't see it ever changing. Call that a lack of faith if you want to, but it's also a whole lot of experience talking.
Today as I sat in church (why is it that these things come to a head on Communion Sundays?) struggling with this recurring situation which was making me feel so worthless, I heard my pastor say (as he was introducing Communion) "He came to His own, and His own received Him not." (John 1:11)
Huh, I thought. Wait a sec. Jesus' own people rejected Him, dismissed Him, and ended up being responsible for His crucifixion.
Not that my situation even comes close to His ... but then again, that's the point isn't it? The point is that He came here to make a way for humans to know God. And humans weren't interested in Him or in His mission, only in their own agendas and interpretations of why He was here. The Bible tells us that Jesus was "in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin." (Heb. 4:15) He went through all of that so that He could relate to our suffering. There is absolutely NOTHING I can go through, nothing that can happen to me or no emotion that I can feel, that He has not gone through or felt.
He understands.
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| Photo "Stained-glass Church Windows" courtesy of franky242 at www.freedigitalphotos.net |
We like to pretty it up, make it seem less gruesome than it really was, but the cross was a pretty awful place - the most barbaric form of execution ever known to humankind up until that time in the history of the world. The scourging itself was enough to kill someone, but Jesus was made of stern stuff physically (carpenter by trade, walked at least 30 miles a day), so to the cross He went, already weakened by loss of blood and barely recognizable as human. The very people He came to help had turned on Him. Even His best friends deserted Him when it looked like the tide of popular opinion was against Him. How horrifyingly wrenching! And to top it all off, He the One Person that mattered most to Him ... His Father ... would turn His back on Jesus.
And I think MY problems are big.
Needless to say I had to have a conversation with Him today about this thing I had considered to be so hurtful. And I thanked Him for understanding, and for being patient with me. I realize that the situation is probably never going to go away, and I might need to have that conversation over and over again with Him. But that's okay.
He understands.
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