The heart of the matter

There's no getting around it. Life isn't easy. Sometimes stuff happens that is really difficult. Sometimes even survival itself seems impossible. Sometimes we wonder if things will ever be normal, if we'll ever experience any joy or peace. Sometimes the power of the old life we used to lead bears consequences that have repercussions on our current life, trying to kill us inside, trying to rob us of our joy, trying to destroy what we've worked so hard for. Sometimes those people from that old life try to drag us back down into the muck with them. 

It happens. It doesn't seem fair but it does happen. We wonder sometimes whether the fact that we belong to Jesus gives us any kind of 'edge' at all, or whether it just makes us more of a target. We may even wonder where God is in all of what is happening to us. 

Here's some truth that may bring a bit more clarity to whatever situation we are facing.  If we belong to Jesus, if we believe in His deity and have confessed that God the Father raised Him bodily from the dead, He has freed us, and taken up residence inside of us. In reality, He lives inside of our hearts.

Free photo by jclk8888 at Pixabay

What difference does that make? Well, to answer that, I need to talk about what the heart is. It isn't the physical organ that pumps blood. The heart, in Scripture, is that deep-down part of us that makes us who we are; it is the core of our being. God, who cannot allow sin to enter His presence, lives inside of us and has made us new creations, holy and acceptable in His sight, for the sole purpose of being our Friend for all time and eternity. Isn't that wild?

So no matter what happens, no matter what the present is like or what the future holds, we have this to hold onto: He loves us enough to live inside of us, accept us, create in us a new heart - one that is pure and whole - and protect that heart for time and eternity. That kind of love transforms our little trials here into opportunities to get to know Him better. It gives us the chance to lean hard on Him, to prove Him faithful and trustworthy. His love gives us the courage to face each new day. It inspires us to persevere. It reminds us that we are never alone. It changes us from the inside out. It helps us to accept ourselves. It strengthens us to learn and to grow. It makes us grateful and compassionate toward ourselves. 

This truly is the simplicity of the good news. God loves us. He loves us and lives inside of us through the finished work of Jesus on our behalf. He lives within us. And He will finish what He has started (Philippians 1:6).  He will never abandon us. Never. Not even once. And whatever happens, He will make it turn out for good, even if others mean it for evil (remember the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis?) 

God's got this. He's got you. And you've got Him. That's the heart of the matter.

The Dividing Line

For the last few decades, but especially the last four-plus years, I've watched it with growing alarm. Otherwise wonderful people, committed Christians, good-living, God-fearing individuals, are fighting and losing friendships and even relationships with family members - now even in public fora like social media - about things that (to my way of thinking) should not even be an issue.  Politics.  Doctrine.  Human rights. 

Seriously?  When Jesus said that He came to bring division in Luke 12:51, He wasn't talking about these kinds of obsessions. He was talking about the simplicity of the Good News.  He was talking about Himself, about the Scandalon (the stumbling stone) of the Gospel. He was predicting family members turning each other in (in other words, turning in believing family members), ratting on them to the authorities because of their own lack of belief in Him. 

As for those who are fellow-believers, Jesus prayed in John 17 that they would be united - that they would be as united with each other and with Him as He was with the other members of the Trinity. Not in the sense that we all believe the same way about the same things, but in the sense of loving and accepting each other the way we are, in spite of our differences in thought or method. 

He said nothing of external politics. He said nothing of believers hating and bullying one another over piffling little details that mean nothing. 

Photo "Girls Looking At Each Other" courtesy of Stuart Miles
at www.freedigitalphotos.net

The dividing lines that I've noticed lately have been whether this or that leader is the right one for our respective countries. Or whether women should or should not preach. Or whether someone is white or a person of colour and whether that matters. Or whether certain people should be allowed to fall in love with each other and get married. Or whether people do or do not have the right to identify as male or female, or other. Or whether climate change does or does not exist. Each side -by and large - uses scripture as a weapon against the other.

Again I say, SERIOUSLY??

Ever since the dawn of humanity, there have been differences of opinion. And there will continue to be differences of opinion. Trump, Trudeau, democracy, socialism, feminism, etc., etc. Pick a topic, and someone has at least one opinion about it.  I even know someone who has three opinions on just about everything, and who will argue with herself without even anyone there in the room with her! 

But all these differences of opinion -- especially if we are believers -- are opportunities to show love to each other rather than excuses to fight one another. Otherwise, we poison our own testimony. And the cause of Christ suffers.

The world sees us fighting one another, putting one another down publicly, making fun of each other, and so forth, and what is the first thing they think? "If that's what being a 'Christian' is, I want no part of it."  And they are perfectly justified in saying so. Some believers, wanting no part of what passes for Christianity today, have decided that even though they believe in Jesus, they no longer want to be considered Christian because of the negative image it conjures up.

ENOUGH!! 

I submit another, more deserving, dividing line: a line in the changing sand of the times, so to speak. And I dare each of us to cross it, and to pay attention to the changing times while we do it. That dividing line is LOVE.

Enough with beating each other up over things that won't matter in a hundred years. Enough with trying to look good by making other people look bad. Enough with the martyr mentality (oh look at me, I'm the only one who has it right and you're just making me suffer...). Enough with the siege mentality where it's 'them against us'. Or 'us against them' more accurately....whoever "them" is! Most likely, it's usually the current villain in the crusader-mindset of religious folks: anyone that doesn't look like, act like, or think like we do. 

Come on, admit it - we've all done it in one way or another. We find a way to set ourselves apart from other folks. This kind of practice has earned itself the term of "othering" - treating another group of people as "less than" us because of some sort of difference we feel uncomfortable with. So let's step over that line from "othering" to "ANothering" where we love one ANother, bear one ANother's burdens, meet one ANother's needs. It doesn't mean we have to be doormats, but it does mean that we need to accept one ANother the way each of us is. 

And I think that Jesus would do the same. I know He did with me.

One Bad Apple

I was talking with my brother about a situation that had recently troubled me regarding the actions of one individual, and how I was tempted to walk away from all members of that group based on that individual's actions. I had recently realized how that was an overreaction on my part. In talking about it with my brother, I inadvertently quoted a song by either the Jackson 5 or the Osmonds (depending on who you're talking to) called "One Bad Apple." I said, "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch." 

He responded by saying, "Yeah, as long as you don't let it sit there. Throw that thing away!"   

I nodded, making myself a promise to reflect some more on what was essentially an important life lesson: remove the toxic thing from your life so that you don't ruin your enjoyment of the rest of your life. Like when Jesus said, "if your eye offend you, pluck it out."  I don't think He was talking about self-mutilation, but about closing the door on something that was not healthy for you. 

Free image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

But also, just because one person did something that hurt you, don't assume that everyone who seems similar will be dangerous to you. That's living life in fear and allowing that one person to poison your future. Don't allow that to happen. Learn the lesson you were meant to learn from that experience, and after that, throw the rest away. Remember that even a spoiled apple has unspoiled seeds, that good things can come from bad events. It doesn't mean you go looking for the bad, or that you embrace that person again, but that you know that God is looking after you, lovingly caring for you. In remembering that, you can cast your cares and concerns onto Him and trust that He will be there, loving you, working everything together to make you more like Him (Romans 8:28-29). 

That was the 'sermon' that I preached to myself. It helped me become more willing to look for the good in things, and to not go to that place of viewing myself as a victim. Rather, I needed (and still need more and more) to trust myself to the care of God, to His grace and faithfulness, to know that He will allow into my life only that which will make me a better person. 

Finally, without belabouring the point, I needed to learn that there are a lot more good apples in my life than there are bad ones. I'm determined to keep it that way. :)

The Reason

I see the expression "Jesus is the reason for the season" posted a lot on social media and talked about in groups of friends who share the Christian faith. And I get it. I really do. When my family and I gather on the morning of December 25, the Christmas story is the first thing we focus on before anything else, and we sing Happy Birthday Jesus (or try to - see this link). 

But as we go through the years, we have come to question a lot of the trappings that go with the celebration of Christmas. We understand that December 25th was the date chosen in the early 4th century as "Christ-mass" or "celebration of Christ" by an emperor (Constantine) who wanted Christianity to be the "state religion," and who appropriated the festival of Saturnalia (celebrating the Roman god Saturn, the god of agriculture) to make the transition more palatable. Saturnalia is the pagan holiday, celebrated between December 17 and 24, from which we get our "Christian" tradition of giving gifts, feasting, erecting and decorating an evergreen tree, hanging garlands and wreaths, and using holly branches/berries in decorations.  The lengthening days just after the winter solstice (December 21) meant that many people in ancient times (including the Romans) lit lights (candles and lamps) to welcome the coming Sun.

Photo by Brent Keane from Pexels

Other traditions come from other religious beliefs: the Yule log come from the pagans of Europe, mistletoe comes from the Druids, ivy (used in Christmas decorations in England) is an ancient Roman symbol of the god Bacchus, the god of wine and pleasure, and the modern Santa Claus, thought to be a North American adaptation of the English Father Christmas, had his origins far earlier, in the supreme god Odin from Norse mythology, who is always depicted as an old bearded man in flowing robes. As we know, the Vikings influenced the development of early Anglo-Saxon culture in England.

In addition, the date itself is suspect. It is most likely that Jesus was not born on December 25, or even in the winter. (Yay for no snow!) He was probably born in the early spring, for that is when ancient Hebrew shepherds kept flocks of ewes and lambs outside of Bethlehem, a bedroom community not far from Jerusalem. The lambs were born in late February or early March, and remained with their mothers for the first few weeks in preparation for the Passover feast, so it is likely that Jesus was born in March or April.

Knowing all this means, for me, that I hold the traditions and trappings loosely and that I no longer associate them with the actual celebration of Jesus' birth. Because we have a statutory holiday devoted to the celebration of "Christmas," December 25 is a convenient time for me to remember that God became man, to commemorate His birth, and to spend time with family and friends. Yes, we decorate - but not a whole lot. Yes, we exchange gifts, but we try to make those gifts meaningful expressions of love instead of an obligation based on guilt or greed. Yes, we have a big meal - turkey with dressing and some sort of pie for dessert - but we choose to share that meal with at least one person who otherwise would be alone on a day that many associate with being among family and friends.

But Jesus is the Reason for the season only because we (as believers) choose to make it so. There seems to me to be a certain amount of arrogance in how Christians have judged those who celebrate December 25 without Jesus at the centre of it. We have chosen to celebrate Jesus' birthday at this time, but others - because they are not Christian - have every right to celebrate it however they wish. 

So it makes no difference to me whether people say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or whatever, to wish each other well during this season. I look at the well wishes behind such words and I say back to them, "Same to you!" instead of trying to make them feel guilty for using the "wrong" words. At this time of year, when the nights are longest and the endless winter stretches out before us in such bleakness, it is good to remember that there are certain things which transcend circumstance and tie us together as human beings. We believers need not be obnoxious about our faith; that only drives people away. We can be kind, generous, and accepting, and attract people to Jesus rather than promote our own agendas (and in so doing, repel people). We can hold precious in our hearts the Babe who left such opulent richness to lay wrapped in rags, helpless, in a feeding trough.

And we can be grateful that He did this, knowing He would be rejected and crucified, to give us purpose. Himself. He IS The Reason - not for the season ... but for Living.

Anything but this...

When the children were young and we were so very deep in debt there was no way out, when we were forced to one inescapable conclusion - that we had to declare bankruptcy - I groaned inside. "Oh God. Anything but this."

But of course it happened. And through it, I learned about mercy, and grace, and forgiveness, and provision. I learned which people were our friends and which ones didn't want to have anything to do with us because they judged us. I learned how God can take the most awful experiences of our lives and teach us lessons we need to learn: how to live within our means, for one thing. 

When the government came after my husband and took him to court - and we had no money to fight them - when they broke every promise they made to us when he stood trial, I closed my eyes and said, "God. Anything but this." But it happened anyway... and through that experience we learned the pain of being falsely accused with no way to fight back, and we learned who stayed, and who judged. We also learned even more about God's provision, and were given even more opportunities to forgive.

When our child was injured and had to undergo surgery - when she faced unjust treatment by one health care professional after another - when she was declared disabled ... I dropped my head to my chest and sighed, "Oh God. Anything but this." But through that experience we learned how to ask for what we needed, how to accept help, and how to see light even in the midst of darkness. 

When our other child rebelled, hung out with people who were in trouble with the law, stole for them, stole from us, and finally wanted to leave the province, I ached inside ... "God. Please. Anything but this." I was so scared, felt so rejected. But ... she left anyway. And through her leaving, I realized that the hedge of protection that I had placed around her no longer protected her because she had chosen to leave. At the same time, and probably BECAUSE of that loss of protection, I learned how to trust Him for all things, how she needed to be away from that protection to see how bad things were "out there".  I learned how to let go more and more of my need to control the outcome, and how to develop a relationship with her that grew more and more precious in such a short time. And I knew the joy of seeing that same child embrace a vibrant relationship with God - something she never would have done had she stayed. 

When she got evicted and had to live in her car, when she fought fatigue, sickness, hunger and cold for days and days ... making her so exhausted she fell asleep at the wheel and was killed ... I cried in anguish, "Oh GOD! Anything but this!!"  But of course, through the searing pain of loss, I learned the sweetness of God's presence, the wonder of true friendship, the amazing impact of her legacy the more I told her story, and the empathy that allowed me to be there for someone else who lost her own daughter not long after that. 

More and more I am convinced that God uses the darkest, most terrifying experiences of our lives to show us His great love and to make us stronger for whatever is around the bend. I have learned this through the things I have gone through, usually kicking and screaming like some petulant child. He is patient with me. I am learning.

Photo "Doctor In Surgery" by
taoty at www.freedigitalphotos.net

When my brother got cancer, and needed to have surgery, I knew by then that God was going to work something amazing out of it all. And He did. The surgeon got all the cancer. There is none left. Sure, there are physical problems still, and it is hard, but God has this under control. 

When my mom got dementia and went wandering one day last month, and had to be put into protective custody in the hospital, part of me went to that place of fear: "Dear God, no. Not this." But this time, I didn't stay there. I started to see how God was working even in the midst of this horrible thing in our family. I can see God's love in the situation even while she waits, still wanting to go home, to be placed into a nursing home - the last place she ever wanted to go. In spite of all of that, I have confidence that He will make a way in that wilderness just like He did with all the other barren places I have mentioned, and way more besides. 

He does this because He loves us. He LOVES US. Not because there is anything we've done or not done - but because He WANTS to. That's it. No more than that. 

And I am sure that He will amaze us all. And that He will delight in His lavish love when our jaws drop at how good He is to us.

So ... when people ask me to pray for God to take something away from them that is hurting them, or hurting someone they love, I will pray - of course! But I pray for God to do the same kinds of miracles that He did for me and for us, ... for them.  I pray that He shows them His presence not only with them, but IN the whole situation. I pray that they have peace, that they will learn the joys of letting go of their situations and clinging to Him. That they will realize that He is right there with them.  

I have seen too many miracles happen "in the midst" to believe less than that. 

If only people could see

Today, as usually is the case, my husband, my daughter and I went out for breakfast to our favourite breakfast restaurant.  We look forward to this family time together, and we rarely miss the opportunity, unless prevented by sickness or distance.

This time, we were enjoying our breakfast when a middle-aged fellow, whose face we recognized as being one of the "regulars", walked in and sat at his usual spot.  This would not have been a problem, except that we had been assigned a table which placed me five feet away from this man's usual spot.  It was then that I noticed the billowing waves of after-shave or cologne emanating from this man like Pigpen's dust clouds.  It was cloying.  It was so strong I could taste it on my tongue (when I immediately started breathing through my mouth to slow down what is usually an immediate neurological reaction.)  I groped for a napkin and held it over my nose and mouth as I ate, lifting it up only to put food in my mouth.  I finished my meal as quickly as I could, and tried switching my seat - but it was too little, too late. Leaving my coffee only half-consumed, I ended up having to leave the restaurant to sit in the car while my family hurried through their meals to join me.  

I have explained the condition I have (multiple chemical sensitivities or MCS) a few times, and I have had to re- and re-explain it to every person individually, because until you suffer from this, you have no idea what it is like or how all-encompassing, all-limiting it is.  

Chemical scent is everywhere, and it is toxic.  Some brands of perfumes contain as many as 300 chemicals, some of which are classed on Hazardous Materials sheets as neurotoxins.  These chemicals include such nasties as benzine (listed on shampoo bottles as "sodium benzoate"), toluene (closely related to benzine), and aldehydes (in the same family as formaldehyde, AKA "embalming fluid.") These toxins are cumulative in the body, and one day, usually after a concentrated exposure, the body says "ENOUGH!"  Basically, the body has been taking in so many toxins from being around so many people over the years wearing them, using them, cleaning with them, "deodorizing" (should be called RE-odorizing) with them, moisturizing their skin with them, spraying them, drying them into their clothing, and plugging them in (yes, even Glade plug-ins and Febreeze products) that it rebels.  And MCS is born.

These are not mere allergies.  With an allergy, the body decides something is an attack on itself and creates a histamine response: the nasal passages get congested, the eyes get watery, and so forth). One can take anti-histamines to relieve the symptoms, and that is the end of that.  However, with MCS, there may be an allergic reaction, but that is not the primary reaction.  It is neurological - there are nerve symptoms like headaches (up to and including migraines), dizziness, disorientation, "brain fog", even muscular cramping and the formation or aggravation of trigger points - such as is common in fibromyalgia.  And taking an antihistamine might clear up the nasal congestion, but that only allows more of the toxins to reach the system and cause more reaction, not less.  

The last seven-plus years for me has been about self-care, and educating people about this illness is part of that.  Granted, due to a bona fide miracle back in the fall of 2009, where a good 70% of my symptoms just "poof" disappeared as someone was speaking words of encouragement and love to me, I do not suffer nearly as much as I once did.  Before, I had to pretty much wear a hospital mask to work and to church, anywhere there were people other than my own family.  (I remember in early 2009, one adolescent boy at church thinking that I had the H1N1 influenza virus until his mom explained it to him.  And then he got mad for me.  It was touching, actually!) 

Photo "Female Doctor Wearing
Surgical Mask" by stockimages at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

The problem is NOT the smell.  That is only secondary - and in a way I am grateful for the smell.  It alerts me to what is coming ... and that is the ingestion of the chemical into my body, which results in those nasty symptoms I mentioned.  The real problem is the fact that companies no longer exclusively use natural scents when they make their products.  Synthetic or artificial scent is what most companies use because it is so inexpensive.  

Which leads to the questions I get.  "Well what about skunks? don't you react with them?"  The short answer is NO - not like I do with perfumes.  Of course the skunk smell is entirely unpleasant, and it might even cause me to stuff up and be all teary - like it is supposed to do with every other creature on the planet.  But I don't get brain fog from skunk spray.  "Oh - are you allergic to flowers?"  Ummm, NO.  Like I said, it's not an allergy.  I might have a reaction to the bug spray you put ON your flowers but not to the blooms themselves.  

And one more question, or should I say a statement I get a lot. "I use unscented products, why are you having a reaction?"  Simply this: unscented products contain chemical scent, and something else: a chemical product designed to take the SMELL away.  So in reality, unscented products actually have more chemicals in them than scented ones do.  Again I say that the SMELL isn't the thing that is bothersome - it's the CHEMICAL.  

And the chemical, dear friends, permeates the surrounding area, is carried by people who walk through that cloud to other areas of the room, and stays in the air long after you have left the premises.  Artificial scent has those chemicals in them because those toxins are proven to linger in the air and on the skin.  That's why they use them: staying power.  For those of us with MCS, that's a game-ender.

So by now you're wanting to know (or I HOPE you are wanting to know) how to pick products that are not toxic to me ... OR to you, whether you have a reaction or not.  And I do have some suggestions, but with a warning - beware product loyalty.  Sometimes a product can be fine and then the company goes and changes the formula (this happened before with one kind of soap we used, and then most recently with Pantene Shampoo & Conditioner 2 in 1 "Sheer Volume").  

Anyway, here are the suggestions:

1. Look for the words "Fragrance Free" on the bottle or tube.  If it doesn't, see suggestion number 3.
2. Perfume isn't the only thing that contains chemical scent. Be aware of laundry products, room freshener products, personal care products, skin care products, sunscreens, cosmetics, etc.
3. If choosing lotions, shampoo and/or conditioner, or other liquid products, take the time to read the ingredients listed. If one of the first eight to ten ingredients says one or more of the following: parfum, sodium benzoate, laurel sulfate, or toluene, those are neurotoxins that will cause a reaction in people like me. Choose carefully. It might take a while to find something that works for everyone.
4. A word about any product that claims to be "unscented" - it isn't.  For example, Dove Unscented bar soap causes me to have a reaction.  Dove SENSITIVE doesn't. It says "Fragrance Free."
5. Consider using alternative solutions for your personal hygiene products. About 6 years ago, I switched to a fragrance-free Crystal Rock product instead of underarm antiperspirant ... it's mineral salt-based and works as well as most deodorants. And it lasts SO much longer (my first rock lasted 4 years), so you'll save yourself a bundle of money. I bought it at the Bulk Barn for EIGHT DOLLARS.
6. Anything that says "deodorant" ... ISN'T.  It is merely another word for fragrance that is used to cover up another odour.  This includes underarm deodorants, soaps, and deodorizing sprays, the three biggest offenders.
7.  By far the biggest suggestion I have is to re-examine why you wear or use products with artificial scent if you know that this is going to cause yourself and others to build up a toxicity in the body, leading to such related illnesses as fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndrome, and chronic fatigue syndrome. These are all interrelated with MCS, which means that a large percentage of those with MCS also have one or more of these conditions. Is your health really worth it?  Are you that insecure in your own acceptability that you feel that you have to cover up your own body's scent with something else?   

One last word about this issue, since my audience in this blog is largely believers.  There have been well-meaning people who have reacted - usually badly - to me talking about this issue.  Some don't want to change; others ... I don't know what they think or IF they think about it at all.  However, from some of the reactions I get, I do have a few things to say. 

1. I do want to be healed, because I am suffering and because I am limited in where I can go and who I can hang around with.  But I don't want to be healed to make you feel more comfortable around me, or so that you can continue to wear your favourite product.  Be considerate.  Leave it home, or better yet - throw it out.
2. Don't assume that because you don't wear perfume or cologne, that you aren't wearing or using scent.  Many products contain it, not just the ones I've named but also mousse, styling gel, foundations, lipsticks, hair spray, ... the list goes on and on.  And it could be something that you have in your home that is clinging to your clothing and causing a reaction.  Educate yourself. Please.
3. For those who pray for me, for those who reach out in love, and for those who refrain from wearing "product" because of me and people like me, I am truly touched by the loving care you demonstrate; it does not go unnoticed. I pray that whatever load you carry is lightened. 
4. Finally, if your solution to the "problem" of me not being able to be around scent is staying away from me, then I fail to see how that is truly demonstrating love - although if you ARE going to continue to wear and use your products, I'd prefer that you stay away, thanks.  A more appropriate way to show that love, though, would be to refrain from using or wearing chemically scented products - not just around me but around everyone.  It not only does good in a gathering where you KNOW I will be there, but it also prevents me from entering later, and running into a cloud you might leave behind long after you are gone. I go to the grocery store, the department store, the clothing boutique, the hardware store, and the pharmacy too.

I have often wished that people could physically SEE the clouds they leave behind when they use these products.  I'm sure it would shock them.

People stay outside of Pigpen's dust cloud (in the Charlie Brown comic) because they can see it.  At least his cloud moves away when he does. And it's natural. I'm just saying.

Hugs and hand grenades

I grew up in a church that called itself fundamentalist. In hindsight, it was a lot more about following rules than it was about following Jesus and His Way of love. It was much more about making people behave themselves than it was about listening to them and caring about them. 

One of the major tenets of this particular church (and from what I've seen since, a LOT of fundamentalist churches) was this concept of "witnessing." 

Now, first of all, I am perfectly willing to share my faith as the Holy Spirit leads me and as the situation gets set up by Him. (And as I listen to Him, He also tells me when to be quiet and let Him do His work.) And He gives me opportunities to share a few words about my relationship with Him - sometimes where and when I least expect it. 

But there is something here that I think a lot of believers miss. The word "witness" - for the most part - is a NOUN and not a verb. Especially as used in the Bible. "You will be My witnesses," Jesus said in Acts 1. That means that it is something that we ARE, not something that we DO. 

So witnessING (as it is done today, and I'll give examples below) is contrary to the pattern of scripture. In fact, in my experience, it only HINDERS someone from accepting the good news because without exception, it makes unbelievers feel as though we Christians believe ourselves to be better than they are. (Ummm, we're NOT.)

It's true that believers are born again into a war in progress. It's true that we can wage spiritual warfare. Successfully, I might add. But this warfare is not accomplished with weapons of destruction. People need love. People DON'T need judgment. People are NOT the enemy. People - INDIVIDUAL people - are our MISSION.

HEAR ME.

Bumper stickers, tracts, Facebook posters, and other 'blanket' affirmations and platitudes just don't work. They are like throwing a hand grenade into the middle of a crowd hoping to make a statement about the power of God. There is a LOT of collateral damage. People get hurt. Badly. Such tactics don't take the individual into consideration at all. They just open fire and give those who "throw the grenade" a false sense of having "witnessed" and thus having fulfilled their Great Commission obligation. 

How tragic.

Messages or Facebook posts or tracts that use guilt or fear to get people to engage in these harmful behaviors (done in the name of good) only serve to keep God's people in bondage and hinder their ability to earn a hearing when the people around them are hurting. 

You see, using spiritual hand grenades absolves us of any responsibility to reach people who need reaching, to find those people who are searching, who are ready to hear, (ever think that someone in your circle of friends might NOT be ready to hear and be turned off by your obviousness? think about it!) and to show them the love of Jesus in a personal way. What these people need are hugs, not hand grenades. Hugs are personal. They can be messy because they involve human contact. And they only target one (or at the most two) at a time, so there is a considerable increase in time investment. 

Let me illustrate. 

About thirty years ago, my dad had a pretty major heart attack. Thankfully, he survived it!!  He was in the hospital, flat on his back with machines hooked up to him, monitoring his heart rate, his breathing, and his oxygen levels, only allowed to see one person at a time, and the pastor of the local church came to see him. The first thing out of his pastor's mouth was not "How are you?" but "Are you saaaaaved??" 

If Dad could have gotten up out of that bed (he told me later) he would have punched that guy in the mouth. HARD. If the story had ended there, my father would never have had a valid opportunity to respond to the Good News.

A few days later, another fellow came to see him. He sat with him, visit after visit, engaged him in conversation about the things that mattered to Dad, listened to him, and ended the visit when Dad showed signs of fatigue or of needing sleep. He never spoke a word to him about his soul, not for nearly three weeks. But he came to see him every day, took an interest in how he was doing, what he cared about, and how he felt. He really showed my father that he cared about HIM.  And finally, when he heard the Spirit whisper, "Now," he asked my dad's permission to ask him a personal question. (Read here: RESPECT.) Dad agreed. And the man simply said, "Are you fully trusting Jesus as your only way to a relationship with God?" Dad thought for a moment and simply said, "Yes. I am." And from that moment onward, his life and his attitudes changed. 

This is an example of what I mean by hugs and not hand grenades. 

Photo "Sadness Woman In Friend's Arms"
courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

If our friends know us at all, and if we have been true to our beliefs in our own lives and choices, they will know what our stand is, and whether we are Christians or not ... because they're smart people. We don't have to beat them over the head with it, and we don't have to be "in their face" with it all the time. All that does is make them want to run screaming in the other direction!! There is nothing that we can do to MAKE them become Christians, to see the "error of their ways" (can you begin to see how insulting that kind of attitude is to people?)  In fact, convicting people of their sin and bringing them to Jesus is not our job. It's God's. "HE [that is, the Holy Spirit] will convince the world of sin, of righteousness and of judgment," Jesus said in John 16. 

When I used to "witness" the way that I hear people trying to convince other believers to do - with a Bible in one hand and a club in the other - one person told me that the reason she became a Christian was NOT because I kept nagging her or reminding her about it. If anything, she said that my behavior toward her kept her from embracing the gospel because she didn't want to be that "in your face" kind of believer. (News flash!) What convinced her was not anything I said. In fact, the thing that spoke most to her was that she saw how happy I was now. She'd seen me at my worst ... and she knew that in spite of my obnoxiousness (and trust me, I was sickeningly zealous!) I was truly happy for the first time in my life. And THAT - above all else - was what got through to her. 

Huh. Who knew. 

The world needs more genuine hugs and far less impersonal and judgmental hand grenades. And so does the church.

Just saying.

Thank You Lord!!

Dear Jesus,
I have so very much for which to be grateful. You've given me such riches: family, friends, a home, a job to pay for it, food and drinkable water in abundance, reliable transportation, access to adequate health care, and so many more things that I take for granted every single day.

But all these pale in comparison with the eternal spiritual blessings you have poured out on me.

I've been thinking a lot about what happened when I passed from a living death to a living life, complete in You in spite of my keen awareness of my own insufficiency. I know that in my own human strength, there is absolutely nothing I can do to make any kind of change within me, as much as I try. It's just not part of my human nature. I fail every day... sometimes several times a day. 

Photo "Loving Father And His Baby" courtesy
of David Castillo Dominici at
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Yet ... You call me Yours!! You were the chief Agent in my adoption into our Father's family. He calls me His daughter. Your Spirit lives inside of me. You think about me, listen for my heart's voice, and You are FOR ME. Constantly. Whether I fail You or not (and I fail You more often than not) our Father sees me as holy and blameless before Him ... because of You. He dotes on me. He watches me with joy even when I am doing absolutely nothing, just because I am His. He is filled with so much joy that He sings over me (Zeph. 3:17). Because of You, Jesus, I can have that totally dependent relationship on Him and I can know He is thrilled by me even when I am sleeping. Just like I tenderly watched my own sleeping babes ... so does He.

I am overwhelmed!!

I cannot begin to fathom why He would choose me in You before the foundation of the world... but He - and You - did. I can barely grasp the concept that You would love me beyond what I could ask or even imagine. And as You very well know, I can imagine a LOT. 

Thank You. I can't begin to thank You enough! Thank You that You finished, once and for all, the sin question. The moment You cried out, "It is FINISHED!" that settled it! Sins - past, present, and future, from every person that had ever lived or who would ever live - all gathered together in one moment of time and You cancelled the debt, Jesus. PAID IN FULL. 

This is not some head-in-the-clouds, esoteric, or abstract concept. It's REAL. As real as the breath that I breathe. This marvelous truth - the truth of Your forgiveness - is so real, so present, that before I even become aware that I've messed up, You've already forgiven me...eons ago. To You, past, present, and future are all the same. In Eternity past You died for me. At Calvary You died for me. And throughout the Ages to come, You are the Slain Lamb standing for me. I am clean - whiter and more pure than snowflakes - not because of anything that I have done. It's all YOU. All I need do is thank You for that forgiveness that is already mine ... because of YOU.

And that's the thing. Thank You SO MUCH that it's not anything that I've done or ever will do. I know me; I would brag, Jesus, even if I only got ONE thing right! I'd get all proud of myself. But You did it all. 

I open myself, all that I am, to being known by You, to getting to know You more and more deeply. I truly could spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity ... and it still wouldn't be enough time or intensity to worship You and thank You for this incredible gift. 

We ... are family, You and I. And it's all. Your. doing. 

Such unspeakable joy! Hall-e-lu-JAH!!

Co-workers with God

I love it when God works something out that a bunch of His people have been praying about, and allows us to participate in the outcome with the prayers and the support He allows us to offer. 

A buddy of mine was in quite a bind lately. The situation was absolutely hopeless. On a fixed income and limited in what she could pay for rent, she was told she could no longer live in her apartment, which cost $200 more per month than she could afford (long story but suffice to say that this was due to someone else's bad choices.) The apartment kept her from the elements, but that was about it. The heating was off-and-on, there was mold, there were other issues as well. And her landlord basically said, "Well if you can't afford this amount of money, you have to be out of here by the end of November." Plunged into this situation with little time to arrange for a place to stay, she put her name into subsidized housing programs; no joy there. She tried to find an apartment for the maximum she was supposed to pay on her fixed income and still leave money to buy groceries and pay other bills, but there were no apartments available that weren't (as she called them) "dives." 

Her situation was doubly compounded by the fact that any place she went would need to accept pets - in particular, cats - because her kitties are her babies; she would never go anywhere they were not welcome.

A few weeks ago, as she and others were making her situation a matter of more concentrated prayer, she received a call from a telemarketer one evening. On a whim, she answered the phone. The young man asked if she wanted to donate to some worthy cause; she was unable to and told the man a little of her situation. He asked if he could call her back, and he did a few days later with the cell phone number of her local Member of Legislative Assembly (the Canadian equivalent of a State-level elected representative). He told her to call this number and say that he had given out this number.

In fear and trembling, she did. She told her MLA the situation and he was shocked at the amount to which she was limited for rent and more shocked at her total monthly income! He asked how she even managed for groceries! Then he said to call his personal assistant on the next working day, and tell that person exactly what she had told him... which she did. Then .... nothing happened - for over a week. In the meantime, she was getting more and more desperate. Through the kindness of a friend of a friend, more options surfaced. Yet, there were no openings. So it seemed, anyway. 

A nice apartment kitchen

Last night, my friend got home from volunteering at a local charity and saw a message on her voice mail. It was Seniors housing (one of the subsidized housing programs); they wanted to talk to her. They called her again this morning. "We have a place we would like you to look at; you may not like it but why don't you come and have a look?" 

She went, bathed in prayer by all who knew about it. The moment she stepped into the place she fell head over heels in love with it. It had lots of storage space, a larger kitchen than the one she has now, and her own designated parking space, in a nice quiet neighborhood, as well as an in-house laundry - all included. Timidly, unable to believe how amazing this place was, she asked them if they took cats. 

"Yes, we do," came the answer. 

That was the clincher! They assumed she wanted some lead time to pack. "I'm already packed," she informed them, and within an hour they made arrangements for her to pick up her key. On this coming Friday the 30th - the last day of this month - the very day her lease runs out on the old apartment, she signs the papers and picks up her key.

Whether the politician was able to make a plea for her, or whether some people ahead of her on the list decided not to participate in the program any more, we don't know. All we know is that God has been in control of this process from the get-go, and He worked things out in such a way that He gets all the credit. 

Being able to be a small part of the process and having the privilege of watching this happen up close ... has been nothing short of thrilling. Hearing the excitement in her voice as she was telling me about her new place and also sharing how much better off she is now than even 2 months ago has been such an encouragement. 

I thought I'd share this story because it is often discouraging to pray and pray and pray for something that seems never to come. We think that we are not making a difference. Our faith falters. Yet Jesus said that nothing is impossible with God. So we wonder if there might be something wrong with our faith. I know I have.

I recently read an article written by a Scottish pastor who actually reads ancient Hebrew and ancient Greek. He talked about that verse and said that it was not quite translated the way that we think it was. In the original, the sentence reads more like, "What God speaks as 'rhema' (sometimes spelled 'rema') that is, His personal word to your situation, is going to happen. Period. Even if it seems impossible; if He has spoken to you, He will accomplish it."

When we pray God's "rhema" word, we can have full assurance that it will happen. My friend was led back here by God a couple of years ago from out of province - and it was like He told her in no uncertain terms that this was where she was to be; her support network was here, and she was to be here. 

So when her world toppled a couple of months ago, and this stressful situation was created through no fault of her own, the temptation was so great to question whether she'd really heard right. Yet deep in her heart she knew that God wanted her here with friends and in community with other believers. 

We as her friends and fellow-believers could co-operate with God's will for her by praying that He would provide a place for her to live. He left it to almost the last minute - as usual - but when crunch time came - He came through. And we who were praying for her were able to rejoice in her miracle, knowing that in some small way, we had the blessing of participating in it. 

I also wanted to share this story so that someday, if ever someone is in that spot, that place where all human avenues had been exhausted and it's a question of, "Will God do for me what I know He CAN do?" he or she can look at this story ... and take heart.

Dead Heads

My gaze fell on the lilac bush in our yard as we left to go somewhere a few days ago.  "Oh.  While I'm thinking of it, those dead heads on the lilac bush will have to be pruned off." 

My husband turned to me briefly as he drove.  "Why?"

"There were a few left on there the previous year, and I noticed that we didn't have as many blooms this year as we should have.  They won't grow back if the flowers have gone to seed and stay there until the next spring."  

"Oh.  Okay," he responded, and the topic turned to other things.

I recalled that conversation when I was out on the deck this morning and heard the snip, snip, snip of the pruning shears as he cut off those lilac dead heads. Bless him! 

Dead heads.  Past productivity.  Last year's blooms don't mean this year's buds.  It's a simple lesson.  

But how many times do I rest on my laurels and think I've arrived, that I can coast, that I don't have to 'press in' - at least not with as much intensity as before?  How many times have I focused on the result of the relationship between me and God, and forgotten that it's the relationship that did it and that it's the relationship itself that must be maintained as if no results had ever been produced? 

Ouch.  That isn't a comfortable truth is it.  It's based on a much deeper truth, one that Jesus put His finger on many years ago: "Without Me, you can do nothing." (John 15)  Not, "you can do most stuff but I have to do the rest," or even, "you can only do a few things."  Nothing.  Zero.  Nada!!  

I like to think that I am capable of doing certain things on my own.  But the truth of the matter is that even the strength to believe, even the belief itself, are gifts that God gives. The breath I breathe, the beating heart, the power of thought - these are gifts. I can take no credit for them. So why do I think that I have any power over anything?  

That's the illusion isn't it...?  I have learned certain skills in the course of my life and I know how to apply those skills to achieve a desired outcome.  And it is that which deludes me into thinking that I can do it with everything.  But ... I can't.  Especially as it pertains to producing the fruit of the Spirit in my life: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, meekness, kindness... all those and more. 

I think that it was brilliant that Paul likened the development of those qualities in believers to fruit. Fruit come from blossoms.  They can't produce themselves.  They grow out of the living plant - symbol of the long-term relationship between a believer and God. Nurtured by the sun (the Son), water (the Holy Spirit) constantly, continually flowing through the tree, a healthy tree will produce fruit.  Naturally.  It doesn't have to grunt, strain, and work up the fruit.  It just comes.  

The most amazing believers I have known in my life have not "tried" to produce that spiritual fruit; it has just been produced as they simply let God love them, let God know them ... the way He so desires.

And once produced - the fruit must be picked, used, taken from the tree.  If trees had feelings, it would seem a little harsh at first glance to rip something that amazing away from them. But if the fruit stays there on the trees ... it. will. rot.  And no fruit will be produced there until the old fruit is removed. The usefulness of the tree will be reduced. Often, in the wild, the best fruit are produced the year following a wild autumn or winter storm that sends the fruit flying from the branches.  From the pain of loss, loss of what has already come and gone, and served its purpose in our lives - new growth can happen.

Just like with dead heads.  

Fresh fruit, fresh blossoms.  Every year. Every season. No holding back.  No self-recriminations for dry times. It is what it is. Drink in the Holy Spirit, bask in the Son, lift your branches high to the Father. He will take care of the rest, the production of leaves, flowers, fruit (as He sees fit); others will see, will feast, will rest in your shade, will breathe in your fragrance.


Dedicated to a dear friend, Agnes Hawbolt, who passed away yesterday to be with the Lover of her soul.

Christian Buddhism

I read an interesting book a few years back by (I think it was) John MacArthur.  In one of its chapters, he exposes something he calls 'Christian Buddhism.' That is, the idea that suffering is redemptive, that it produces some sort of higher spiritual plane and makes us more like the divine. Sounds to me like an elaborate justification for masochism.  Or (if you're into church history) self-flagellation.

I can hear you now - "Hey, wait a minute!  Suffering IS good for us!"  If you grew up in the church, you've heard that message all your life, quite probably:  God allows things to happen in our lives to grow us up, to chip away the excess, to burn away the dross, to make us more like Jesus.  Yes, I have been taught that all my life too.  

I wonder if it's really all that scriptural.  I mean, how loving a God would He be if He caused some innocent girl's relative to sexually abuse her just so that God could ensure that she could grow as an individual at some later point in her life?   

Bad things do happen to people.  All people.  And some of us certainly have more than what we'd consider a fair share of trouble.  Does God cause it?  I don't think so.  Not from what I know of Him.  Does God enjoy it?  Again - No.  He's not the kind of person who gets his jollies out of watching people suffer.  He loves us.  Does He allow suffering?  Maybe - but only in the sense that He values human free will so much that He allows us to make choices, even if those choices are against Him and what He wants for us. Once we make those choices, the law of the harvest kicks in - you reap what you sow - and consequences begin to happen: consequences which are not desirable.

When we choose Him, however, we initiate a feedback loop of blessing that perpetuates itself.  Sure, some people may not like our choice, and they may make life difficult for us.  Christians the world over face this kind of thing to varying degrees.  But always, the face (the favour) of God is shining upon us.  And usually, even though we've chosen Him, it doesn't negate the law of the harvest.  People who've fried their brains on acid usually don't get instantly healed when they become Christians.  They just become redeemed acid-heads.  Sometimes that's just scary for folks who have never been exposed to that sort of thing.  But it's not God's "fault." 

I don't have all the answers.  I don't know why some things happen and others don't. That's because I'm not God... but I also seriously doubt the validity of the idea that suffering is good for us.  If suffering is good for the human spirit - then bleeding must be good for the veins.

I'm more inclined to think that suffering is the natural consequence of human beings' bad choices - whether our own or - unfortunately - someone else's. Blaming God for that ... is kind of like blaming the Tylenol company for some disgruntled employee putting poison in the pills back in the 1980s.  It wasn't Tylenol's fault that someone decided to sabotage the company - whether they decided to kill people or not.  It was the fault of the person who chose to do the deed.  Lessons learned from suffering can also be instructive - such as in the development of sealed packaging after the Tylenol scare, a standard in the industry today.  

But I also believe that suffering can be an opportunity for God to speak to us, for others to be His hands extended to us to remind us of His love.  It is the LOVE that is redemptive.  Not the suffering.  The suffering might make us a little more receptive to receive love, because we are suddenly AWARE that we need it so much, we are hurting, and we are asking honest and searching questions.  But it is the love (and God is love) that heals.  

I can think of one incident that occurred just recently where a terrible tragedy happened to a young woman and her three friends on a late-night road trip - this guy ran their car off the road, shot them all, and then shot himself.  Only the young woman survived.  It was a heinous act of violence and there is absolutely no way that the suffering in the lives of those left behind could be good.  No way could anyone convince me that God intended for this to happen. It was the choice of that young man to do what he did. And even that was the result of a whole lot of choices that led up to that point, either by himself or by people and situations that presented themselves in his life. 

But the outpouring of love and generosity that has been lavished on this young survivor, her family, and the families of all FOUR of the young people whose lives were snuffed out that night - love and generosity shown sometimes by complete strangers - has been nothing short of miraculous.  

As well, contrary to the popular belief that God is the ultimate fun-sucker, I believe that God intends for us to enjoy our lives, one day, even one moment at a time, the way HE does.  Liberated from the encumbrances of yesterday and tomorrow, we are free in Him to live joyful lives.  When bad things happen, we feel those feelings too - when we are honest, we can really let the light of Jesus shine through our lives, through the cracks in our spirits, letting His love and goodness shine through from the inside out. On the other hand, "putting up with it" or seeing a circumstance that happens to everyone - or worse yet, a difficult-to-deal-with person in our lives as "our cross to bear" for the promise of some future reward ... is out-and-out dysfunctional. (I'll save the Biblical "cross to bear" analogy for another time, but suffice to say that it doesn't mean what most religious folks seem to think it does.)   That kind of uneasy, put-upon, self-pitying fatalism can turn us into self-righteous, whining martyrs and victims - and drive the unbelievers away in droves!  

So what DOES draw a spiritual seeker to God?  Well, if experience teaches anything, it teaches that life itself carries with it its own set of special lessons.  As I mentioned before, good and bad things happen to all people; Christians aren't exempt from bad things happening and unbelievers aren't prohibited from good things happening.  Our spiritual lives, which flow from our relationship with God, produce reactions to those events in our lives: reactions that are based on our life-focus.  Whether the events are pleasant or unpleasant, our reactions will determine others' opinions of what - or Who - we represent.  

It's a fact of life, whether we like it or not, that we (who are imperfect) are ambassadors for Christ (who is perfect.) If our lives point to Him, if we live in the power of His Spirit, if He is the central hinge-pin of our lives, then we needn't be concerned with what others think.  We'll live in the moment, dependent on His guidance, and come what may - whether good or bad, we'll be aware of this one, piercing promise He made: "I will never leave you or forsake you."

With friends like you -

With friends like you, the saying goes, I don't need enemies.  

I know people whose idea of friendship involves:
-  intimidation
-  manipulation
-  control
-  power trips
-  using people to stroke their own ego via guilt trips, bragging, or insecurity and/or
-  not having to say they're sorry - ever.

I know other people whose idea of friendship involves: 
-  hanging out with the other person doing nothing but activities which the person wants (forcing the other to go along with it)
-  never wanting to talk about the serious stuff 
-  thrill-seeking, fun-mongering
-  sharing an addiction (drinking, smoking, drugs) or
-  gossiping about other people.


I know still others, and I prefer their company, whose idea of friendship involves:
-  talking about matters of the heart and the human spirit
-  treating the other person with respect
-  acceptance:  being who they are and allowing others to be who they are
-  seeking consensus on an activity without succumbing to the temptation to use peer or political pressure, and
-  seeking the other person's well-being.