Saturday, March 31, 2012

Hungry

Have you ever been hungry?  Not just, "Yeah, I could eat..." but REALLY hungry? like your stomach hurt and the only thing you could think of was food?

I have.  It hasn't been often - but it's happened.  Being hungry weakens you, lowers your concentration, can even make you shaky or nauseous.  

And one thought is uppermost.  "Eat."  

I wonder what would happen if I hungered for God like that.  

There is a sense in which relationship with God is very satisfying, fulfilling.  There is peace where there once was torment, hope where once was despair.  There is purpose instead of pointlessness. But there is another sense in which extreme hunger for Him, for His presence, for even more closeness with Him is a crucial element of spiritual growth.  Without Him, we shrivel up inside.  Life doesn't make sense.  And there is an awful emptiness that is all-pervasive.  

Source (via Google Images):
http://thecraftyhostess.com/?p=354
The danger with not eating when hungry is that after the initial stages I have described above ... the hunger subsides.  The body still wants food, but the desire goes away.  This is extremely dangerous; if repeated over and over it leads to malnutrition ... and you starve, not ever knowing how hungry you are.  (Insert your own spiritual application here).  

And what is more satisfying than your favorite meal when you are hungry!  

Yet after you eat ... guess what.  The body needs food again - and so does the spirit.  

God says in the Psalms, "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it."  Need I say more.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Asking

"Be anxious for nothing, but in every thing with prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  - Philippians 4: 6,7


I know a lot of people who think that the more aggressive you are in prayer, the more obligated God is to give you what you want.  They talk about "claiming" this and "taking authority over" that.  


I suppose that that has its place, when doing spiritual warfare, which is not something for brand new believers - heck, I know people who've been Christians for years and years who quail at the thought! And yes, in certain situations I have had to travail in prayer and fight spiritual battles for myself and for those I care about.  Sometimes it is necessary.  Especially when it has to do with really battling the dark forces that have oppressed or possessed someone.  Those things are not to be entered into lightly and they require a LOT of energy.  Operating in the Spirit in this way is very draining... it's not for the faint of heart.

Source (via Google Images):
http://jeri10-2009blogs.blogspot.ca/2009/06/thought-for-day.html
But when it comes to something that I want God to do for me ... or even for a close friend ... I've become more and more uncomfortable with the attitude of entitlement that is so prevalent in the church.  


You know what I mean: the idea that we're God's kids and He's got to give us anything we want in Jesus' name.  Hm, to me, it kind of smacks of a toddler throwing a tantrum in a grocery aisle because he doesn't get what he wants.  Just saying.  


What I've learned instead to do is to ASK.  Asking - instead of telling, instead of demanding - reminds me of several things, things I forget sometimes :


He is God ... and I am not. He sees the big picture.  I don't.


I am human - and He is not.  His ways are far above my ways.  If I were really running things, I'd screw it up big time.


I have permission to ask.  "Up until now, you have asked nothing in My name.  Ask, and receive, that your joy may be full," Jesus said.


Asking means I let Him decide.  I know that the answer can be "Yes", and it can be "No," - and it also can be "Wait."  Either way, my asking (not demanding) says to Him (and to me) that I am truly willing to accept whatever answer He gives.  


No pouting, no sulking, and no arm-twisting!  Manipulating God used to be one of my favorite pastimes. But it was such a lot of stress, because I honestly thought that the answer to my prayer depended on me saying the right words, quoting the right Bible verse, getting enough people to join me in prayer for this or that thing, or pleading long enough or intensely enough. What an incredible waste of time that was!!


Asking also means that since I am willing to accept whatever He decides, I can let go of it, quit trying to control the outcome, and let Him do whatever He decides to do.  This reduces my stress considerably.  Then, I can "let my request be made known to God" and then, strangely enough, "the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus."  Hm.  Now where have I heard that before?   

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Boom Boom Clap

I mentioned the song, "We will rock you," (hence the title, boom boom clap) one day to my hubby.  He has a way of taking things in a ... well, in a "punny" way.  He immediately shot back, "Yeah, the Pharisees' theme song."  It took me a while to get it.  

What he meant was that the Pharisees were in the habit of stoning people to death (hence, "rock you" and not in a nice way...), people over whom they had set themselves up as judge, jury, ... and executioners.  Like that woman they thrust in front of Jesus one day, the one caught in adultery, "in the very act."  (John chapter 8, if you want to read the story - it's my favorite!) 

Now, two things come to mind when I stop reading right there.  

The first thing is, that if she was caught in the very act of adultery - guess what: she was naked!  and their move was strategically designed to publicly humiliate her and outrage the whole community against her. They wanted a stoning ... and at the same time, they wanted to make Jesus look bad.  If He went along with stoning her, His message of love and acceptance and forgiveness was discredited and they would win.  If He defended her, then He could be seen as condoning her own immorality, a crime punishable by death.  They could not lose.  Or so they thought.

The second thing is, that if they got HER in the act of adultery, where was the guy?  The religious law they claimed to obey said that both parties were to be punished. My take on it is that the only reason they'd NOT put the guy out there with her, was that it was one of them, and either it was a case of "we don't want the scandal to hurt his family" OR it was a clear case of entrapment by one of the Pharisees, premeditated.  She may indeed have been set up.  And if so, I'm sure that Mr. Pharisee was only too happy to play his part!  

So Jesus sat or squatted down and started writing in the dust.  When questioned, He simply said, "Whoever among you is without sin, let him cast the first stone." And He kept writing.

Source (via Google Images):
http://povcrystal.blogspot.ca/2010/03/jesus-of-nazareth-part-2a.html
Let me share something that excites me about Jesus' statement, something that's not immediately obvious.  The original Greek rendering of this sentence is something like this: "Whoever among you doesn't (already and continually) sin in this way, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." John's gospel says that they started leaving - beginning with the older ones - until nobody was left except Jesus and the woman.  "Beginning with the older ones."  Huh. That lets me know that not only DID they sin in this way, they had done it for a very long time.  Eventually even the younger ones had to be honest with themselves, and they slunk away.  

Jesus didn't condone what she had done.  But He did point out one very (often forgotten) important fact: everybody messes up.  Everyone needs help.  Every person needs God.  And its sister thought: "There, but for the grace of God, go I."  

The Pharisees were out to "rock her world" - quite literally.  But instead, the Rock of Ages fell on them - softly, quietly, but heavily - and reminded them that they too, were in need of just as much grace... and perhaps more ... than she was.  

So perhaps it's time we Pharisees in the church, the ones who are so quick to judge and call down another - even another believer with whom we don't agree - sang a new song.  One that rings with truth, with hope, with victory over our common problem, even with compassion and love....

HE     will, HE will    ROCK YOU!! ROCK YOU!!
Boom Boom Clap, Boom Boom Clap, Boom Boom Clap, Boom Boom Clap...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Incognito

Psychologists tell us that people are motivated two ways: extrinsically and intrinsically.  They all agree that intrinsically is better, because it doesn't depend on circumstances.

Someone who is EXtrinsically motivated gets his or her reason for doing any behavior from outside him or herself.  Here are some examples of outside reasons: a paycheck, a performance review, a gift used as a bribe, applause, or guilt.

A person who is INtrinsically motivated does things because he or she wants to, and that person does not have to rely on the reward or threat of another person or institution to do those things.  Love, high self-esteem, compassion ... these things come from inside - and when people don't notice what that person does, it might hurt occasionally, but it isn't the be-all and the end-all.  It's not a deal-breaker. 

An extrinsically motivated person needs recognition. All the time.  Every day.  Continually.  Kind of like an addict needs drugs. There's an incessant craving for affirmation.

And not only that, he or she thinks that recognition and applause motivates everyone.  So that person is always wanting to point out the accomplishments of others so as to make them feel good and want to do more.  And he or she points them out in public, usually. After all, if the appreciation of one is good, then the adulation of hundreds is worth more, right? 

An intrinsically motivated person prefers to be "incognito".  Calling attention to something this person does is extreme motivation to give it up, not to continue.  There is an inner bubbliness, a secret delight in doing a task well, whether anyone sees or not.  Don't get me wrong: paychecks are kind of necessary in today's world, and once in a while it's nice to hear encouragement (just privately, not in front of a whole crowd of people) - but the primary motivation is in knowing that the person has helped some people and made their life better.  

There is a part of me that is extrinsically motivated.  I guess there is - or I wouldn't have a blog, I guess.  But a much larger part of me prefers to go "incognito".  That part of me cringes when there's that "Oh everybody look!  Isn't that person (or group of people) amazing?" thing going on.  That part of me wants to just disappear - or to scream out, "I didn't do it for YOU!"  (Of course, that would be rude. True, but rude.)  

I just have to let it go.  And offer any external praise - or criticism - up to the One to whom I live my life. I can't live in a box or in a cloister.  I  need to understand that if I am living a life that puts God first, then there are going to be people that are affected.  Some are going to like it - some aren't - and it doesn't matter what they say because in the final analysis, after all the clapping and booing stops .....

.... it matters what only One says.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Dig Down

The year was about 1985 or 1986.  Some of my relatives had come over to visit us at our house where we lived previously.  We decided to take them on a trip to a "must see" excursion to a large village about twenty miles away, to spend the afternoon.  There, they had paddleboats, a petting farm with baby farm animals (including puppies and kittens to give away), a mini-roller-coaster, and novelties like life-size checkerboards and live mini-theatre.  

There were a lot of people there that day.  We had a lot of fun - one couple even came away with a puppy!  It was a hot summer day and we were thirsty.  Some among us whet our whistles at the snack shack.  Others drank freely from the water fountains - after all, water was the only thing that was free, and it was SO cold!  

The day ended and people said their goodbyes, and each went his or her separate ways.  

The next morning, very early, we both awoke violently ill.  Over the next six to eight hours, we spent the vast majority of our time hunched over a toilet bowl.  Neither my husband nor I had ever been that sick.  After we got a little bit of respite from the waves of nausea - and started taking an interest in the world, we first checked with our relatives - and some of them had been just as sick as we.  

We watched the news to distract ourselves and it was then that the mystery was solved.  The afternoon prior to us being at the park, there had been a troop of boy scouts there, most of whom had come down with the same symptoms.  Some of them ended up under medical care.  It was then that the truth came out.  They had salmonella.  And, as we figured out from that, so did we. Every person who was sick had one thing in common: the water fountains at the park!  

A very rapid investigation resulted and the owners of the park discovered, after opening up the cover and passing a camera or something to the bottom of the well, that a rat had gotten in there and drowned.  A rare occurrence to be sure, but there you have it.  As it um, decomposed, the bacteria passed into the water, and thus, to all those fountains.  They closed the park for a whole day, removed the rat (of course) and disinfected the whole system.  From that day until the day it closed, there was never again another problem.  

Image source (via Google):
http://appropriateprojects.com/node/51
Now - I tell the story to ask a question.  What if those people had found that rat, and said, "Oh no.  Just knowing it's there is enough.  We don't need to dig that up.  It'll settle.  It'll be fine"???  You got it.  Nobody would have been able to drink that water as long as that animal stayed where it was.  They HAD to dig down. They HAD to remove it. 

This is one problem with a lot of Christians.  Yep, know that's there, prayed that blanket prayer (however that sounds, whether the same prayer every time or a different one) and whatever you do, don't dig that thing up because then you'd have to deal with all those messy things again, feel all those nasty feelings, and then there's the cleanup.  

Yes.  Yes there is.  And it won't go away until you do.  It will always have power over you.  Always.  It will sit there and rot until you dig down and bring that thing up and dispose of it properly.  And then go back down and clear up the damage it did.  Yes, it's messy, and yes, it will take time.  And no, you can do NOTHING on your own to get rid of it.  (That's God's thing - He has the BEST disinfectant!)  But if you are willing to face that awful thing (whatever it is), honestly face your feelings about it and any part you played in it, and make restitution wherever possible, IT WILL LEAVE.  

Guaranteed. 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I Can't - We Can't

I can't live the Christian life.

Neither can you.

Nobody can.  

Oh, I know you will regale me with Bible verses like, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me," (Phil 4:13).  Yes, I get that.  

But that's not what I'm talking about.  By the way, it's a very common thing to have people pay lip service to Philippians 4:13 and try to live that Christian life by NOT doing it through Christ, but in their own strength.  That's probably because accepting that we can do absolutely NOTHING (like Jesus told us in John 15) is hard on the ego.

Incidentally, I've heard a really good acronym for the word 'ego' - it's 'Edging God Out'.  Very descriptive!  

We like to think that we have power over our circumstances, power over our lives, our relationships, our inner life.  The truth is, we might be able to sustain it for a few minutes, a few hours, even (if very disciplined) a few days.  But we will ALWAYS mess up.  I do. A lot.

I can't do it.  I can't do ANY thing without depending entirely and persistently on God.  The only thing that I can do is to actively seek intimate relationship with Him.  

Source (via Google Images):
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap960620.html
I'm not saying that I don't need to go to work in the morning or to look after my family, not saying that I have to sit on some mountaintop and wait for inspiration.  But what I am saying is that I need to depend totally on Him to do more than just survive life - to actually LIVE life.  In the moment.  Every day.  To the full.

A lot of what we're taught regarding doing things "for God" is based on the humanistic (human-centered) mythology of our society.  It's religion (which, after all is stripped away, is just a human attempt to gain brownie points with God) whether you couch it in evangelical Christian terms or not.  It's the whole basis behind formula-based living: the lie that we can do something to influence the outcome.  We can't.  God decides.  That's part of being God.  

God calls us to a life of indescribable beauty, adventure, and purpose.  But the first time we try to 'organize' it - we kill it... just the way someone trying to 'organize' an organism (for example, lop off an arm and a leg and make them switch places) ends up killing the organism through vivisection.  

And did you ever notice that not one person is exactly like another? So why is it that we are forced into these "cookie-cutter" molds of what a believer should look and act like? (You know, there's an awful lot of dough - stuff that doesn't fit inside the cookie-cutter and which is perfectly good - that gets wasted that way.)   Some folk just want to make everyone look and act like them - not because it's required by scripture but because that's their interpretation of it based on their upbringing and indoctrination.  I lived there in that conformist trap for years.  Instead of celebrating diversity in the body of Christ, I was leaning toward cloning.  My version of Christianity looked like producing little replicas of the perfect fundamentalist, all looking, acting, and talking the same way.  (For Star Trek fans, this is as scary as the words, all spoken by automatons in unison by millions of voices, "We are the Borg.  You will be assimilated."  Or rather, "We are the Church.  You will be unstimulated.")  I'm so glad God messed with my agenda, and taught me that He delights in the endless variety that humans bring to the equation - and can't wait to enter into relationship with us.  

And all that, so that He can work through our individuality and our past and present experiences to bring something beautiful, something previously unknown, to the world.  The key, though, is that He gets to work THROUGH us.  On our own, even with the best intentions - well, we'd mess up royally.  

He's our only hope.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Premature Proclamation

I was in a church service this morning where the pastor - at one point - likened the work that God does in our hearts to the conception and development of a baby in the womb.  It grows and grows, and it eventually comes out - it can't help but come out.  That is the way of it.  

I found that comparison intriguing, because it's something that I've maintained for quite a while.  There are seasons in our lives - times when God brings something into being within us.  Like that New Life that He started in our hearts when we asked Him to take charge of us.  He nurtures and makes that living thing grow and develop - and when the time is right, when it is fully developed and ready to burst forth, it does - and often, not without pain.  

Yet what does the church tend to do?  Get them in, get them hooked up with God, shove a bunch of rules at them, and then put them to work right away.  Do, do, do.  Don't think about the inner stuff unless it's only in general terms.  Just get out there and use the 'shotgun' approach to ministry, make all kinds of black-and-white generalizations about things you haven't even experienced yet, thus being unable to relate to anyone who's in pain.  No, don't deal with that stuff that's in your past.  Shove it down under a blanket of all-encompassing but nebulous forgiveness ... and bury that past.  Don't think about why you can't get victory over the habits that same history has you trapped in - because you never faced any of it.  The answer is activity.  Get busy, you lazy people you.  What's that? you don't feel any joy? well you better!  Can't I hear even ONE Amen?  what's the matter with you!?  Results, people - results!!

Seriously? In such an atmosphere of condemnation and manipulation, the last thing that can grow is that little seed that God took the greatest care to implant in us.

Source (from Google) :
http://birthways.org/2011/03/choosing-your-birthing-place
The pregnancy analogy is what I like to call an "inside out" model of the Christian life, which is the only model that works - because He always does things the opposite of the way we think things should be.  (Besides which, He kind of likes to take the credit for the results.)

As I was saying regarding the pregnancy analogy, the life of God takes up residence in us because HE took the initiative.  As our relationship with Him becomes deeper and more intimate, His life takes up more and more room in us, stretching us, changing us from the inside out.  No longer do we need to be pressured from the outside to perform in a certain way, which can be contrary to the direction God would have us go.  That inner life is going to come out in its own way and at its own prescribed time. After a while, even if we're trying to hide it, it will be unmistakably there. And when it is ready, it will come out, and be visible to others.  The proclamation, or the desired result, will happen at the proper time, and NOT BEFORE.  If forced to come out and be obvious to everyone else before it is ready or fully developed, then it is premature - and it runs the very real risk of dying or of always being weaker, more susceptible to illness, more fragile than if it was just left alone to grow naturally. That inner life is essential and must never be hurried along. Never.

There are so many analogies of this very thing in nature: this rushed righteousness, this harangued holiness.  

Hothouse flowers may indeed bloom early, but their fragrance is far less intense than that of the flowers just allowed to develop naturally.  And their immune system is weak; they are more susceptible to disease than naturally cultivated flowers.  

If one happens to see a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, and tries to "help" it by widening the opening and easing its struggle - the butterfly is unable, as a result, to pump the required fluid from its body into its wings and will never be able to fly correctly.  It will therefore die early. 

Same thing with a chick emerging from an egg; it needs the strength in its neck that it gets from the struggle to get out of the egg, to help it find food. 

Just because someone is not obvious, or "out there" with his or her faith, doesn't make it any less real or valid. And just because someone's been a believer for decades doesn't mean he or she is mature.  

Forcing someone to conform to a certain lifestyle or to get out there and do things that were only intended for a mature believer to do, can do more to harm that person than help him or her. Why not just let God do what He wants to do?  why not trust Him to accomplish what He wants, when He wants, without trying to speed it up and risk wrecking what He's trying to transform (in His own way and time) in someone's heart?  

He is more than able to do that - and all by Himself, too.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Seeds we sow

Did you know that God hates? 

Yeah, sounds weird doesn't it?  But Proverbs gives us a list of six things that God hates - no, as a matter of fact there are seven that are an abomination to Him (abomination is like really intense hatred).  

Let me give you the list and the reference - because something jumped out at me about it some time ago as I looked at it.  

"There are six things which the LORD hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him.
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, 
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans, 
Feet that run rapidly to evil, 
A false witness who utters lies, 
And one who spreads strife among brothers."
 - - (Proverbs 6: 16-19)

Did you notice it?  There are two things that jump out at me.  One is that lying is mentioned TWICE - once as just the tongue (body part) which lies, and the other as the PERSON who lies.  And the other thing is that for the most part, these are just actions that God hates (represented by body parts) - whereas the last two - (which talk about lying and about spreading discord between brothers) actually talk about the person.  So much for hate the sin, love the sinner!!

Source (via Google Images):
http://www.metronews.ca/ottawa/life/article/363719
That should be a clue as to how desperately wrong it is to lie to people and to tear down person A to person B so as to make person B mistrust or judge person A.  I've seen this happen over and over again, and every time it is extremely upsetting.  Talebearers, the Bible calls them. People who betray confidences to make themselves look like the good guy ... while the other poor slob comes off smelling like a skunk.  I'd even go as far as to say that this kind of behavior can be seen as bullying.  And I have less and less tolerance for that kind of thing, whether in a family, a church, or a workplace.  Those words of discord are seeds that spring up in not only the life of the person being disrespected, but also in the life of the person tearing him or her down.  The seeds of discord yield a harvest of shame - whether now or later.  

That's the thing about seeds.  They reproduce and multiply - IN KIND.  You can't get an orange tree out of an apple seed.  The kind of seed we sow is the kind of fruit we'll get, and we'll always get more than we give, for good or for evil.  And when I hear someone talking to me about this one or that one - revealing secrets or expressing opinions on what he or she has done or said, I now find myself wondering what that person tells others about me. 

That's a sobering thought.  

I need to pay attention to make sure that I not only don't spread discord, but also that I don't allow others to do it as well - that I pray for and appropriate the courage to confront and expose it ... in a kind and gentle way, knowing that it could just as easily be me holding the seed bag.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Pain by Numbers

People appear to be obsessed with numbers.  


Watch any news show and you'll be amazed at the references to statistics, dollar amounts, and demographics.  Prominently displayed are: stock market information about the DOW, the TSE, the FTSE, and the prices of gold and oil.  Feature stories about any kind of celebrity concert or charity event will never fail to mention how many tickets were sold, how much money was made, and how many were in attendance.  The success of the event is measured by those things.   

The church is beset by this preoccupation as well.  Sunday school classes count the number of students in each class, the total attendance, the amount of money in the plate.  Deacons count the number of people in any given church service.  Teams of ushers or deacons typically assign one person on the team to walk around with a pen and a piece of paper, and that person is said to be "on counting" that week, keeping track of how many people are in the building. Success stories of anything from retreats to revivals have to mention how many people came through the doors, how many came to the altar for prayer, how many first-time decisions there were.  The larger the number, apparently, the more impressed people are. 


God - on the other hand - is not impressed with numbers.  In fact, He's been known to REDUCE numbers so as to remove the remote possibility that people would boast in their own abilities.  When He called Gideon as a judge over Israel, Gideon was the least in his father's family, threshing grain at night in a hole in the ground so that the Midianites wouldn't detect his presence.  Once people started following Gideon, he amassed an army of 30,000 men.  But God said, "No.  There are too many of you."  Through an incredible series of screenings and tests, God whittled down the number in that army to three hundred men - a mere drop in the bucket compared to the Midianite army.  Once down to that comparatively small number, THEN God won the victory and delivered Israel from her oppressors. 


Jesus chose a small band of twelve men.  Not twelve thousand.  Of those twelve, He was especially close to three.  


His model was small groups.  SMALL groups.  Two, three people... twelve max.  Yes, "wherever two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am in the midst." This, among other things, was to encourage intimacy: quality rather than quantity.  Perhaps even to foster accountability.  It might also have been to keep people from boasting in their numbers, their strength, and to rely on His.  The statement, "The more the merrier" does not appear anywhere in scripture, either explicitly or implicitly.  Four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal - ONE prophet.  Five Philistines - ONE shepherd boy.  


I'm not saying that God can't use or isn't blessed by large numbers of people (after all, He LOVES people!) - as long as HE is the focus. What I am saying is that in the multitude of people, there is a tendency to boast in our own accomplishments, to be impressed by our own measurements of success, and not rely on God (such as what happened at Babel).   I wonder if it causes Him pain when we get distracted by the numbers and relegate Him to second place at best.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Passing on platitudes

Ever since I was a small child, I've heard people in the church give the most inane, simplistic, and trite answers to questions that deserve better treatment.  Such answers usually take the form of platitudes that are time-worn and - might I say - so tired.  Some of them are downright insulting and wrong on so many levels.  They may come from the discomfort people feel in the presence of intense emotion or of honest doubt - and intended to shut that unpredictable, threatening thing down and put it in an easy-to-manage box.  I'm inclined to think that is the case... for we've built up quite a repertoire of cutesy or airy-fairy little sayings that mean nothing in the practical world.  For example, one I read on someone's dining room wall said, "Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to."  (Now first of all that's untrue - because it's circular: you don't have faith in faith - it doesn't make sense.  It's like being in love with being in love... it might be possible, but it doesn't get you anywhere...)   

And we pass those platitudes on.  We put them as statuses or tweets on our social media, we forward emails with them in there and call them "inspirational".  

Who knows? for some, they might be.  For some, the worst problem they have is that they ate two cookies instead of one.  Or they didn't come to a complete stop at a stop sign. But for those of us who have real issues, who struggle with heavy-duty feelings of shame (that is, feeling bad for who we ARE rather than what we DO - which would be guilt), such platitudes are sadly lacking in any substance.  And when the rubber meets OUR road where the footing is slick and the wind howls in our ears - all those cute little bunnies, heart-shapes and teddy bears won't save our sanity and keep us between the lines.  

Source (via Google Images):
http://bridgwaterpsychologytests.blogspot.com/
2009/11/can-you-spot-fake-smile.html
We need something real.  We need something that's going to last - something strong.  The only thing I have ever found that can stand that acid test is relationship with God.  The ONLY thing.  People can - and will - let you down.  It's the nature of the beast (that is, of human beings).  We keep trying to trust each other completely, when we know that each of us is fallible - and yet, we expect each other to fill a void that only a perfect being can fill.  Or we try to fill that void in others - or at the very least, try to silence the voices - the ones that scream questions that have no answers.  Playing God doesn't work - it's not our job for one thing! Eventually people - left to their own devices - let each other down, whether they mean to or not. And it is always devastating when that trust is broken. The only completely trustworthy One is God.  

Relationship with Him gives us something solid, dependable, beyond and above our selves. It gets us in touch with our inner lives - allows us to connect with our instincts, our emotions.  Instead of running from our emotions and mistrusting them, we can submit them to God and allow Him to redeem them so that we can fully live ... instead of just exist.  

Passing on pat answers and tired clichés to each other just won't cut it.  Christ calls us to a life of rigorous honesty with ourselves and with Him... a life of adventure in Him... a growing relationship out of which will spring challenging circumstances, yes, but also amazing opportunities. It doesn't mean we won't have questions; in fact, the questions are part of the process, and settling for trite trinkets of advice does more to hinder our growth than to enhance it. 

When it comes to platitudes, I think I'll just pass.